Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• A Cornell University study said the Universe will end in a contraction they call the Big Crunch, reversing the Big Bang that created the universe. Long before that, they said the Sun will burn out in one billion years. That means California will have to complete the High Speed Rail project in the dark.

• Fox News reports an American Airlines female passenger sitting in First Class took off all her clothes during a flight to Miami Friday. Then in front of the passengers, she stood in the aisle and performed lewd acts on herself. It was 25 years to the day after 9/11 and skyjacking has come to this.

• President Trump arrived in Ireland to meet with the prime minister and attend the Irish Open held at the Trump International Golf Links. He owns courses in Scotland, Ireland, New Jersey, Florida, and Virginia. That's 90 holes Trump owns, 91 holes if you count the White House Ballroom.

• Atlanta's Coca-Cola Museum added a replica of the drug store soda fountain where Coca-Cola was invented in 1886. Each drink contained 3 grams of cocaine. It was removed in 1913 when they found it harder and harder to find anyone outside of Hollywood who'd pay $250 for a bottle of soda pop.

• GOP Congressman and Wisconsin governor candidate Tom Tiffany and his pilot survived an emergency water landing on Lake Wausau after their single engine plane lost power. They swam to a sand bar and were rescued. His socialist opponent promised that if elected everyone will be equally lucky

• The FAA launched a probe of the Amazon cargo plane accident in Miami Airport last week. It overshot the runway, crashed through a fence onto a highway and plowed into two cars. When I first saw the crash on TV, I thought that the Florida judge forgot to revoke Tiger Woods's pilot's license.

• ESPN came under intense fire Saturday for accidentally posting two photos of Serena Williams instead of a photo of Serena and a photo of her sister Venus while listing the 2 players with the most number of sets wins in majors. It gets worse. Underneath the 2 photos ran the banner, As Seen on COPS.

• Carnegie Mellon Nigerian Professor Ujua Anya went on leave after celebrating the deaths of Charlie Kirk and Queen Elizabeth in posts calling them vile names. The professor may not want the job anyway now. Her posts were so bitter, anti-white and woke that Nike just gave her a lucrative shoe deal.

• The DSA Convention posted its mission to convert the U.S. to communism last week. That's silly, today's young people do not have the work ethic to build all the gulags needed to make communism work. And furthermore, the KGB can't ask Californians for their papers because they all do edibles now.

• The TSA launched a program to allow friends or family members of flyers to pass through security and greet or see them off without a boarding pass. I don't know why LAX signed on. The reason that carjacking is so popular in L.A. is because it's so hard to get a friend to give you a ride to the airport.

• The London Daily Mail reports that President Trump is rumored to have been nominated for the 2026 Nobel Peace Prize. But I hope the report is an online satire because Trump is to peace what fat fingers are to proctology. College football fans agree he's the logical successor to Lane Kiffin at LSU.

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