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• The Hollywood Reporter cites rumors at ABC that the Jimmy Kimmel Show will be canceled when his contract runs out next spring. Jimmy's fans point out he now has the highest-rated late-night show on network television. Nowadays, that's like being the valedictorian at a special needs school.
• The Emmy Awards will air tonight on NBC at the Peacock Theater at the L.A. Live Center in downtown Los Angeles. This being an election year, we can all fully expect to endure angry political speeches from Emmy winners. Hollywood should stick to doing what it does best, cocaine and each other.
• President Trump addressed the GOP Convention Wednesday and offered every adult American $5,000 if they will elect a GOP majority in the fall election to defeat inflation. The idea caught on like wildfire. This morning, the Betty Ford Center began serving Daiquiris for breakfast to defeat alcoholism.
• President Trump's dividend offer to voters Wednesday incited a debate among Republicans over whether it was socialism. It prompted anger among Democrats who called it brazenly bribing voters. It would give every American $5,000, unless they reside in Canada where it's $200 after the tariff.
• Australia hosted its first NFL game in a cricket stadium in Melbourne in front of 100,000 NFL fans to see the San Francisco 49ers play the L.A. Rams. The Australian National Anthem was a bit lengthy. It took the singer five long minutes to get through all 10 verses of In Heaven There IS No Beer.
• The New York Post reports alcohol use has reached an all-time low. I tell young guys in college if you'll avoid my example, focus on success and find the right girl you'll be one of life's winners. They say you never get over your first big love in college. Not a day goes by that I don't think about beer.
• The Los Angeles Police report murders and robberies at an all-time low in L.A. but sociologists write it off as an aging population. However last week, a movie theater on Hollywood Boulevard was hit by a $250 robbery. The thief made off with a medium Diet Coke, large popcorn and a box of Milk Duds.
• The Republican Party held its first Mid-Term Convention in Dallas this past week. Party officials met with the Dallas Cowboys' front office for advice on how best to achieve a demoralizing defeat this fall. The Cowboys are more experienced at blowing it in November than anybody else on this planet.
• President Trump arrived in Texas Wednesday to address the Republican Mid-Term Convention at the American Airlines Center in Dallas. The Democrats gifted Trump with a Lincoln convertible so he could take a ride to the convention through Dealey Plaza. They figured the tenth time is the charm.
• Iran's Expediency Council chief griped that war conditions keep Iran's street enforcers from requiring women to wear hijabs over their heads in public. Iranian women in photos look positively liberated. For the 1st time in 47 years Iranian men are being denied sex if their wives had a bad hair day.
• King Charles directed his wayward son Harry not to use any Royal Titles now that he's back in England, as the King sees himself as a link between the future King William and his mother the long reigning Queen Elizabeth. We live in America, where anyone can become president. That's the problem.
• The NFL season opened with the Seattle Seahawks hosting the New England Patriots in a Super Bowl re-match on NBC. A local hotel service workers' strike had to annoy the Patriots and the TV crew. My idea of roughing it is whenever it takes Room Service more than 3 rings to answer the phone.
• The Fox News poll released Tuesday shows the top concern of voters is high prices at the gas station. The snacks are even worse. When I was a kid, I could go to the gas station with a quarter in my pocket and come home with a coke and a candy bar, but today, they have cameras everywhere.
• The White House is reportedly considering a plan to pay married couples $9,000 a year for one of the couple to stay at home and raise kids. Both couples are working and leaving the kids with day care centers. Parents know it's time for action because their kids are coming home speaking Somali.
• President Trump gave a big speech to the GOP Mid-Term Convention in Dallas Wednesday. It was just three days after the Socialist convention in Chicago vowed to overhaul everything. Republicans are now wearing t-shirts that read Leave Us Alone! while the Socialists are wearing T- shirt that read No!
• California's grade school trans-friendly curriculum was slammed by GOP speakers in Dallas Wednesday. In kindergarten the kids learn to read in reading-circle by reciting four primers. Fun with Dick and Jane, Fun with Jane and Jane, Fun with Dick and Dick and Fun with Jane and her Dick.
• The World Trade Center ceremony occurs in a political atmosphere unthinkable in 2001. The political Far Right still blames Islam while the Far Left claims that the U.S. had the attack coming. Today the Twin Towers are a lot like gender, there used to be two of them but now it's a really touchy issue.
• Bill Clinton at the WTC recalled his sex scandal in the Oval Office and his survival of eight years of daily vicious GOP attacks. Right after office in 2001, Bill set up shop in far uptown Manhattan. Bill will go down in history as the only white Southerner ever to move to Harlem for his own personal safety.
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