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• LSU Coach Lane Kiffin wrangled a ruling from a Louisiana judge to allow Kiffin to play two players who returned to college after being cut by their NFL teams. The legal shenanigans are par for the bayou. On any given day half of Louisiana is under water and the other half is under indictment.
• Scottie Sheffler's FedEx Cup win netted him $10 million in prize money plus an estimated $20 million in future endorsements. He's not alone. Tiger Woods just landed a lucrative endorsement deal with Altra Lone Peak hiking shoes which promise grip, comfort and no blisters during all day hikes.
• Tony Romo pleaded to his DUI charge in Milwaukee Tuesday and was fined and had his driver's license suspended. Romo's appearance before the judge was like old times. He threw himself to the mercy of the court, Tony was intercepted by the bailiff who ran him all the way back to the defense chair.
• President Trump said he expects the Iranian people to rise up and revolt against the oppressive regime. The war's economic squeeze is unbearable. Right now the war-weary Iranians are having to live with sky-high food prices and sky-high gas prices, and those are just the Iranians in Beverly Hills.
• Iran on Thursday fired missiles at Kuwait while the Houthis fired drones into Saudi Arabia. Israel seized a strategic ridge in the Golan Heights to thwart Hezbollah. The most ominous attack occurred when Trump ended his latest post on Truth Social by firing 6 exclamation points at Iran.
• The Nashville Tennessean reported that Dollywood theme park is planning major tributes to honor the life of Dolly Parton this month. She passed away ten days ago after a brief battle with a cancer that hasn't been disclosed. If there's any consolation at least we know it wasn't from drowning.
• Gloria Steinem died at 92 Thursday and will forever be revered as a women's rights pioneer. In the 1960s, she worked 4 years for the CIA then later 11 days as an undercover Playboy Club Bunny waitress for a tabloid expose. Gloria's the only woman who served White Russians after spying on them.
• NFL teams broke training camp this weekend to prepare for next week's season openers. Last week, the Dallas Cowboys visited a local orphanage where they met the kids and signed jerseys. It was absolutely heartbreaking seeing all those faces with absolutely no hope, said one of the orphans.
• Tiger Woods appeared in state court in Florida Wednesday to face charges of driving under the influence of a controlled substance during his latest highway SUV crash in Florida in June, and he struck a plea deal. Tiger was given a five-year driving suspension. He will still be allowed to putt.
• People magazine reports Keeping Up with the Kardashians' Kim Kardashian has been dating world champion Formula One race car driver Lewis Hamilton. The article says their romance is getting very serious. Her friends say that Lewis is the man Kim wants to spend the rest of the month with.
• The Vatican announced that Pope Leo will travel to Uruguay, Argentina and Peru in November where he'll address millions of the faithful in stadiums. It also was announced that a Rabbi and a Muslim cleric will go with the Pope on a future trip. I can't be the only one hoping they walk into a bar.
• Ted Cruz's Senate bill to limit payouts to college football players met with strong opposition this past week. The current system is a massive financial windfall for talented minority players and their families. This year the University of Mississippi is paying their star quarterback $5 million in reparations.
• The Clinton Foundation made news last week when they advertised for an intern to work in the office with Bill Clinton. They held auditions at Bill's 80th birthday party Thursday at the Soros estate in Long Island. The finalist blew out the 80 candles on Bill's cake and won the job on style points.
• Chief Justice John Roberts issued an injunctive ruling allowing the construction of the White House ballroom to proceed, while doubting the legality of it being privately funded. The new White House ballroom will also have a bunker 60 feet beneath it, just in case the DJ plays a Yoko Ono song.
• A Maryland Federal Judge appointed by Biden ordered an injunction halting Trump's latest order denying citizenship to birth tourist babies. Then it gets hilarious. The babies are flown back to China to keep them from being indoctrinated into being socialists by America's public school teachers.
• President Trump while talking to reporters Wednesday expressed concern that no members of his Secret Service security detail have ever had any combat experience. And I agree with his concerns. You never know how you will react to being shot at until it happens. Ask everybody who lives in Chicago.
• The House of Representatives responded to pressure by the House Ethics sub-committee to halt sleazy behavior by some Members. On Tuesday the House voted to censure North Carolina GOP Congressman Chuck Edwards for sexual harassment. It moves him one step closer to a presidential bid.
• The Transportation Department launched a round-up of illegal migrant big rig truck drivers to try to get them off the nation's highways. Many can't speak English or read the road signs. Today I saw a food truck on Wilshire Boulevard that sells tacos and tamales and Commercial Drivers Licenses.
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