Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Lindsay Clancy's jury remained in deliberations Monday to determine her mental state when she strangled her three kids to death in what she called a moment of post-partum psychosis. The testimony has riveted the nation. For three weeks kids across America haven't had to be told twice to take out the trash.

• Governor Gavin Newsom took the side of Canada's prime minister Mark Carney in the trade dispute with Trump. The rift between Carney and Trump hasn't affected Canadian tourism here in California. This month there are so many Canadians in Los Angeles it hardly feels like Mexico anymore.

• The Senate will be taking up Ted Cruz's bill to Save College Sports by limiting college football player salaries, NIL money and transfers. It's aimed at fairness. There's so much money being spent on boys who play college football, there's hardly anything left for boys who want to play girls basketball.

• President Trump met with America's leading oil company CEOs Tuesday to encourage them to follow him into our new ally Venezuela. Trump is embracing Venezuela over Canada. It's just like Trump to abandon a lifelong partnership with Canada for a younger, more exotic South American.

• President Trump struck a deal Monday giving the U.S. a 55% investment stake in a Venezuelan energy company that has the drilling rights to a huge oil field. It's a win win. If Trump's oil deal with Venezuela stops Trump from sinking their boats, we'll get Most Favored Nation pricing on cocaine.

• The Coast Guard busted a boat with 7,300 pounds of coke worth $54 million Friday. While these drug boats are at sea, some of the cocaine is tossed overboard, which helps to tip off drug enforcement. Deep sea fishing guides say they have had never before seen a swordfish jump 100 feet out of the water.

• The General Services Administration announced Monday it's approved $253,000 to improve the lighting in the White House bowling alley. Bowling is a great stress reliever. In West Hollywood yesterday, as I rolled the bowling ball down the lane I thought to myself, please hit a few of those cyclists.

• Governor DeSantis banned Flock cameras from Florida highways that record everything on the streets day and night. Los Angeles is the only place where we think the surveillance cameras don't take enough videos of us. Without good action footage and an agent, you're going nowhere in this town.

• The London Sun published a report saying that the world is communicating on social media so widely and totally that languages from smaller countries are going out of use. Scientists predict that half the world's languages will be dead by the end of the century. So I learned Klingon for nothing.

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