Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• President Trump signed an executive order Thursday announcing that Lake Ontario's name is hereby changed to Lake of America in a confrontational order affecting the waterfowl as well. In addition Trump re-named Canadian Geese on the lake. From now on they will be called Donald's Ducks.

• Virginia's Democratic Governor Spanberger had Confederate General Stonewall Jackson's statue taken down in Richmond's Heritage Square. The Left is purging everything that's Southern. In Blue State supermarkets, Dixie Cups are now labeled Historically Problematic Beverage Containers.

• Paramount Studios' negotiations with the state attorney general were called off Friday in the 12 state lawsuit against Paramount's takeover over Warner Bros. The industry is in chaos right now. On Friday there was a cocaine bust off the coast of Puerto Rico so big it caused a writers' strike in Hollywood.

• Canadians reacted to Trump's re-naming Lake Ontario Lake America by vowing to boycott U.S. goods. They're anxious to get his goat for doing this. Canada announced plans to change the name of Lake Superior to Lake Obama and they plan to rename Niagara Falls and call it Trump's Poll Numbers.

• The White House announced Friday that the U.S. government just bought 55% of a Venezuelan energy company with exclusive rights to a huge oil field there. President Trump insisted that we don't own Venezuela now. We just have controlling interest and a really aggressive Homeowners Association.

• Los Angeles Mayor Bass disclosed Friday she's eliminating arrests for unlicensed street food vendors in downtown Los Angeles. Think of it as no-cash bail for food viruses. On Friday it was so hot in Los Angeles, I saw a food truck vendor fanning himself with 10 pages of health code violations.

• DSA influencer Hasan Piker's assertion that America deserved the 9/11 attacks gained traction on the Left Friday. Canada's public broadcasting network said they will no longer refer to 9/11 as a terrorist attack. Congresswoman Ilhan Omar went further and wants people to call it a GPS malfunction.

• President Trump admitted to reporters Thursday he's not sure exactly who's in charge of Iran, the president, the Parliament or the army. Later that day the Ayatollah was reported to be either dead or in in a vegetative state. Trump responded by saying if he is found in any state he will be deported.

• Optometry Times reported Friday that Vermont just became the 17th state to authorize in-office lasik eye surgery for vision improvement. It's definitely time for me to see an eye doctor. Today on a whim I decided to go into a urologist clinic only to be told at the counter that this is a Clock Repair Shop.

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