Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The Royal College of Surgeons listed the surgical procedures covered under England's National Health Insurance Monday. Sadly it doesn't cover cosmetic surgery. King Charles issued a statement saying if anybody has any ideas about how to correct cosmetic surgery gone horribly wrong, I'm all ears.

• The Boeing board of directors voted Friday to fire the head of their space and defense business after the Starliner was unable to bring the astronauts back from the space station. The Boeing board voted unanimously to show their space chief the door. To no one's surprise, as he left, the door fell off.

• The United Nations is having its opening sessions this week with world leaders from every nation addressing the General Assembly. The world is tense. Iran hates Israel, Ukraine hates Russia, and Haitian delegates are furious that Cats closed on Broadway three days before they arrived in New York.

• President Biden gave his farewell address to the UN General Assembly Tuesday and he reviewed the highlights of the Biden foreign policy. His speech reminded me how much comedians are going to miss him. There wasn't a dry eye in the Assembly when Joe Biden urged Hamas to free the sausages.

• President Biden arrived in New York for his address to the United Nations opening session along with other world leaders. Biden also did some TV. While appearing on The View Wednesday and consulting with the panel President Biden agreed to name a woman of color to be Trump's next assassin.

• Kamala Harris laid out her economic plan for the nation in Pennsylvania Wednesday a day after Donald Trump laid out his economic program in Georgia. Homeland Security reported Monday that five assassination teams are now targeting Trump, giving Kamala a bragging point. She is creating jobs.

• Kamala Harris may visit the Mexican border Friday when she visits Arizona, giving her a chance to point out her successes. That's a tall order. If I remember right, the Biden-Harris border policy peaked back in 2022 when they shot down a Mexican spy balloon and resulted in candy all over El Paso.

• Kamala declined to attend the Al Smith Dinner in New York which traditionally has both candidates speaking to the richest old families in New York. Her act might not go over. Opening your speech by saying that you were born into a middle class family would only sound like panhandling to this crowd.

• Janet Jackson apologized on Sunday for telling an interviewer that Kamala Harris wasn't really black. Her confusion is understandable. Her brother Michael is the only singer who started out as a black superstar who appealed to white people to become white superstar who appealed to black people.

• Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky will visit President Biden at the White House today after addressing the UN General Assembly and touring a Pennsylvania ammunition factory. It's wise for Zelensky to keep moving. He could be indicted any time for scamming a senile old man out of $160 billion.

• The CDC reported a survey showing 35% of women in America are not using birth control pills or requiring their partner to use a condom. The condom was first invented by Arabs in 1272 using the lower intestines of a goat. In 1880 the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

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