Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Donald Trump went on the offensive Monday and blamed vicious White House rhetoric against him on the campaign trail for the second assassination attempt on him Sunday afternoon. However there are two sides to this. Democrats accuse Trump of inciting more assassination attempts by not dying.

• The NFL scheduled a game on Black Friday last week for the second year in a row naming the Kansas City Chiefs hosting the Las Vegas Raiders. It was for safety's sake. It's hoped that having an NFL game for Americans to watch on Black Friday will reduce the number of concussions at WalMart.

• Donald Trump announced he will go to Springfield this week and directly confront the Haitian pet-eating scare. News events are like jokes, they've all been told before. I think it was the fall of 1962 when I told my 6th grade teacher that the dog ate my homework and then an immigrant ate my dog.

• President Trump vowed on the campaign trail Saturday to remove all U.S. taxes on overtime pay after previously promising not to tax Social Security payments as well as pledging no taxes on tips. This could save his life. At the rate Trump is going, by mid-October nobody's going to want to shoot him.

• President Biden made a call to Trump Monday to express relief he was safe and they exchanged a few laughs. Last week, Joe was photographed smiling and wearing a Trump for President cap given to him by firemen. Politics aside, we can all agree that Joe Biden is the best comedian in his price range.

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