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• Daily Variety reports the 76th annual Emmy Awards will be telecast live on ABC tonight from the Peacock Theater on Hollywood Boulevard. This year, I just hope the Emmy acceptance speeches by the stars don't get political. Hollywood should stick to doing what it does best, cocaine and each other.
• Blazing Saddles will run in AMC theaters this week to honor the 50th anniversary. It is ribald, tastelessly hilarious and exploits the free speech permissible in the 1970s for comedic purposes. Blazing Saddles is two hours long, but if you watch it edited for TV, the movie is over in seven minutes.
• The New York Times poll called the 2024 presidential race between Kamala and Trump nearly dead even. Some of the campaign issues violate the traditional sensibilities of many Americans. When I heard they want to offer free sex change operations to illegal migrants, I nearly spit out my dog.
• Malibu was struck by a bone-rattling earthquake Thursday morning which was felt as far away as San Diego. This past week alone, L.A. residents have endured a brutal heat wave, raging wildfires and an earthquake. Living in Los Angeles is like being married to a beautiful woman who's always sick.
• Hurricane Francine hit New Orleans Wednesday, threatening heavy rains and flooding. During the last one to strike Louisiana, a TV reporter was interviewing people on the street about hurricane shelters and asked an elderly lady if the churches were open. She replied, I don't know, I eat at Popeye's.
• The Nashville Tennessean says rock legend Jon Bon Jovi intervened when he saw a distraught woman standing on a bridge over the Cumberland River Tuesday intending to leap to her death. He talked her down and saved her life. Thank G od it was Jon who found her and not Eddie van Halen.
• Kamala came to North Carolina Thursday where she was cheered by Democrats who applauded her debate performance. However, the political experts say her post-debate task now is to win over independent voters. Kamala did pick up two votes from her debate performance, Taylor Swift and her cat.
• Boeing executives let out a huge sigh of relief Monday when the Boeing Starliner craft returned from the International Space Station and landed safely on earth. The flight wasn't without a glitch. Unfortunately, the astronauts were left at the gate and their luggage is believed to be on its way to Pluto.
• Michigan was targeted by Trump and Kamala last week who both offer to rescue the auto industry, Trump by tariffs, Kamala by conversion to electric. I was completely surprised to read in USA Today that the Chrysler family is trying to bring back the car company. I didn't think we still had newspapers.
• The NEA reported statistics that show U.S. high school students rated 26th in the world in math scores. Math questions on L.A. tests are composed to be useful for when the student is an adult in L.A. A typical question asks, If George is 68 and his girlfriend is 22, how much money does George have?
• Vladimir Putin warned Russia will be at war with NATO if Ukraine hits Russia with long-range missiles. This after Biden last week let Ukraine bomb Moscow with long-range drones. It's now a race between World War III and a U.S. civil war over the election to see which one delays the Super Bowl.
• The New York Times threw cold water on media celebrating what they say was Kamala Harris's victory in the debate. Audience reaction graphs showed Trump won on the issues voters care about. But Trump's debate performance was so bad, Saturday Night Live is going to get Joe Biden to play him.
• Taylor Swift took to Twitter after Tuesday's debate to state after watching Kamala's performance she's decided to vote Kamala for president. The singer gave no thought as to what kind of reaction it might provoke in America's heartland. The Kansas City Chiefs just replaced Taylor Swift with Cardi B.
• Dick Cheney ripped Donald Trump and endorsed Kamala for president Friday. It's eerie to me that James Earl Jones died the same day Darth Vader's understudy Dick Cheney endorsed Kamala. Someone should tell her she does NOT need to reciprocate by wearing an I Love Dick campaign button.
• Fox News aired a gallery of all the faces Kamala made on camera while Trump was speaking in the debate. Her mugging indicates she would have made a great silent movie actress 110 years ago. Cocaine was legal in the U.S. back then which explains why actors in silent movies walked around so fast.
• Kamala Harris in the debate called the January 6th Capitol Riot the worst attack on American soil since the Civil War. She said this in front of 67 million viewers and she said it the night before September 11th. She may be the most historically clueless candidate since America was founded in 1919.
• Fox News interviewed House Republicans Wednesday who charged that Trump had a terrible debate and missed chances to expose her past positions. They never came up once. It was the easiest night for Kamala Harris since she was a young prosecutor and Mayor Willie Brown ran out of Viagra.
• ABC's David Muir was accused by Trump fans of running a DEI debate slanted for Kamala after he fact-checked the White Male 5 times but ignored 5 whoppers by the Woman of Color. Go for it, ABC News. Diversity Equity and Inclusion is working so well for Boeing why not try it in the War Room.
• The Women of the View praised ABC News anchors David Muir and Linsey Davis Wednesday on their debate moderating. It had to be a nasty flashback for the former president. I don't want to say David Muir was out to get Trump but he was asking him the debate questions from a slanted roof.
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