Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• ABC hosts the debate between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump tonight with the election on the line. Kamala prepared for Trump by watching videos of WWE wrestling matches. Trump prepared for Kamala by going to a wine bar on Ladies Night at closing time and conducting random interventions.

• Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott signed the richest contract in NFL history on Sunday that will pay him$240 million for 4 seasons. Just last year Dak created and endorsed his own line of men's cologne called INT. It's for those nights in December and January when you don't want to score.

• Sports Illustrated reported on the inspiring closing ceremony of the Paralympic Games in Paris Sunday which drew 4,400 physically disabled athletes. They can run faster, lift more weight and swim faster than the rest of us. So how come they get the parking spots closest to the door at WalMart?

• Restaurant Business reports that restaurants are suffering from the increasing costs of liability insurance. On Saturday night in Canada the ceiling collapsed at a Pizza Express, sparking a quick emergency response. A spokesman announced that the venue will be reopening as a Quesadilla Express.

• Campaign 2024 was reported Sunday to be a race between two election strategies. Trump thinks if he does two interviews a day, he will win. Meanwhile Democrats are using the always-winning strategy which states the less voters know about your plans for them the more likely you are to be elected.

• Fox News interviewed both campaigns Sunday over the illegal migrant gang violence erupting nationwide. Last week I saw a video clip on TV of a Venezuelan gang kicking in the front door of a private residence in Colorado. And worse, it was a promo showing next week's action on House Hunters.

• The Democratic Party announced they just raised $300 million in August to defeat Trump. Still, some Democrats began to wonder if the party has strayed off course Friday when Kamala Harris was endorsed by Vladimir Putin and Dick Cheney. I guess Pennywise the scary movie clown is still a holdout.

• Donald Trump addressed a Fox News Town Hall Wednesday and took delight in ridiculing Tim Walz for calling him weird. Tim and I share the same allergy to actual combat. It was rumored last week that Tim Walz may take himself off the ticket after he was ordered to go to the battleground states.

• Democrat VP candidate Tim Walz was targeted by a group photo of many of his relatives Friday who endorsed Trump for president. He's still catching grief over his service record. Tim's campaign SUV was involved in a minor fender-bender Thursday and so he added the Purple Heart to his resume.

• Donald Trump hosted a town hall meeting in Harrisburg Wednesday and drew a huge ovation from the crowd when he promised to kick the Venezuelan gangs who've entered the U.S. illegally out of the country. That's been his stance for ten years. Donald Trump's favorite store is Home Deport.

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