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• Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones refused to extend QB Dak Prescott's contract capping a week of problems. Yesterday a mysterious white powdery substance unfamiliar to the players was found on the practice field, and Homeland Security came in to investigate. They ascertained it was the goal line.
• Supermarket News reports food prices have soared 26% since 2020 due to increased production, fuel and labor costs, drawing threats of price controls from the Democrats. At the checkout stand yesterday, the cashier asked me how I wanted to pay and I replied with Hope and Joy! I need bail money.
• The National Assessment of Educational Progress reported that history test scores in U.S. high schools continued to plummet last year. It seems like young people know no history at all. Here in Los Angeles, kids have no idea who Neil Armstrong was, never mind what kind of trumpet he played.
• New York lawmakers are set to pass a bill to force Chick Fil-A restaurants along the New York State Thruway to remain open on Sundays. They stole my idea. I planned to make a fortune opening up fried chicken restaurants next door to Chick Fil-A's that are open Sundays and call it Side Chick Fil-A.
• Donald Trump and Kamala Harris campaigned furiously over the Rust Belt and Sun Belt swing states on Labor Day weekend. The end is mercifully in sight. We're only 2 months away from the presidential election being over so we can go back to hating each other over our favorite football teams.
• Rolling Stone magazine reported that news sites have found no evidence of Kamala Harris ever working for a McDonald's while in college as she attests. It looks bad. There is no employment record, no confirmation from friends, and no evidence of a highly public affair with Mayor McCheese.
• Kamala Harris wasn't asked by CNN Thursday about how she's been copying Donald Trump's proposals. They include no taxes on tips, new child tax credits and a border wall. Yesterday while campaigning in Georgia, Kamala was wearing a red baseball cap which read Whatever Trump Just Said.
• Special Counsel Jack Smith broke with Justice Department policy and re-indicted Trump for obstruction of justice, although it's within 60 days of an election. He's insistent that something must be done. Progressives generally agree that Trump impeded justice when he turned his head to the side.
• Kamala Harris traveled to Georgia Wednesday where she embarked on a bus tour of the Peach State. It was a big relief to see Kamala outside, alive and well after a health scare. She'd spent the previous six days recovering after being asked a question, but she's expected to make a full recovery.
• The L.A. Times reported California's budget has gone from a $98 billion surplus to a $77 billion deficit in 2 years. The legislators just passed a bill that will give illegal immigrants up to $150,000 to buy a home in California. What's even more upsetting is that Prince Harry qualifies for this program.
• The Border Patrol reports 10,000 illegal migrants a day are still crossing into the U.S. California is giving them free health care, food stamps, cash assistance, and now $150,000 loans to buy a home. At the rate things are going in the economy, it won't be long before we're mowing THEIR lawns.
• Donald Trump was re-indicted by Special Counsel Jack Smith in Washington D.C. federal court alleging Trump's role in trying to overturn election results and in inciting the January 6th Capitol riots. How could any of us forget January 6th, 2021? Gasoline averaged two dollars a gallon nationwide.
• The New York Post ran photos of President Biden vacationing on a Delaware Beach Thursday where's he's remained off the grid for 10 days. We did receive a statement from the president on Thursday. He congratulated Kamala on winning the Olympic gold medal in Women's Beach volleyball.
• JD Vance spoke in Michigan and ripped Kamala for copying Trump policies on increasing child tax credits, no taxes on tips and favoring a border wall. It could be worse. I lost ten bucks betting Kamala would show up at her CNN interview last night wearing a MAGA hat and a bandage on her ear.
• CNN revealed that Thursday's interview with Kamala would be pre-recorded, making it subject to editing. This protects any politician who rambles on and on. There's a good chance the edited version of Kamala's interview will be shorter than a showing of Blazing Saddles edited for Generation Z.
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