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• Eric Clapton led a fundraiser for Bobby Kennedy who's running for president against the war, climate change, woke ideology and Big Pharma. RFK Jr. enjoys longtime recovery from alcohol and drug and sex addiction. At the age of 70, he could be the first Kennedy to outlive all his female accusers.
• NFL teams addressed recent fan violence at games Monday, posting phone numbers for people to call for security guards if violence breaks out in their stadium section. At a recent San Francisco 49ers game a man was assaulted by a group of five men. Four held him down while the other did his hair.
• The UN General Assembly held its annual opening week which the NYPD calls Hooker Super Bowl Week. The diplomats can't be arrested. Prostitution is illegal in the U.S. because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anybody out-performing them.
• House Republicans scrambled Wednesday to try to come up with a budget to avoid a government shutdown. It's possible for Republicans and Democrats to make peace and work together. This past weekend, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert was the first to reach across the aisle and offer her hand.
• Russia cut oil production, lifting prices Friday as oil profits poured into Russia banks. Last year the U.S. cut off Russian oil imports as McDonald's, Pizza Hut, KFC and Coke exited Russia. Thanks to President Biden's boycott, Russians are healthier and wealthier than they've ever been in their history.
• The White House rolled out the carpet Thursday as President Biden greeted Ukraine's President Vladimir Zelensky for a summit. They spent hours discussing ways to repel the invasion. Biden is seeking advice from Zelensky on how to stop Venezuela from advancing further into the United States.
• The Washington Post published a poll Thursday showing twenty-five percent of Americans now favor secession, split evenly between Republicans in Red States and Democrats in Blue States. Who's going to save the Union this time? We can't even manufacture a Lincoln with the auto workers on strike.
• The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday that gas prices in Southern California soared all the way to seven dollars a gallon, dismaying motorists. They're trying to make it up to us. Gas prices in Los Angeles are so high that fuel dealerships are cutting their product with Fentanyl to give it extra kick.
• President Biden conceded to donors Thursday he's heard about concerns about his age but Joe argued his age speaks to his experience. He's seen not so much as a president as he is a preventative. Democrats believe if Trump is the GOP nominee in 2024, the only thing that can stop Joe Biden is stairs.
• New York progressives demanded Columbus's statue be taken down Tuesday. Washington owned slaves, Jefferson wouldn't even free his mistress in his will, Lincoln lobbied to return slaves to Africa after he freed them, Robert E. Lee left the Union over a tariff act, and Grant evicted all Jews from six states in 1862. Pretty soon it's going to dawn on all of you that King George III was the good guy here.
• NBC News reported Wednesday that the Biden Administration announced that people will be able to order and receive four free Covid test kits from the Department of HEW next week. It appears that the fear of Covid-19 has returned. I went to a funeral yesterday and the corpse was wearing a mask.
• Daily Variety reported the strike by the Writers Guild of America against Hollywood producers may be settled Friday. During the strike, I figured out a way to get paid as a writer by making a YouTube video expressing my support for writers making no money for a hundred days. Just hit Subscribe.
• The Border Patrol reported Wednesday over two million illegal immigrants have entered the U.S. in the last two years. I certainly don't blame the migrants who've rushed into California. They've seen all the recent news stories about Los Angeles, where everything is free if you can run fast enough.
• The United Nations hosted its annual September opening by scheduling speeches by all national leaders, many of the speeches centered on the ongoing war in Ukraine. Vladimir Zelensky is in New York for the General Assembly, and then he's doing a late-night spot at The Comedy Cellar. He'll bomb.
• Russell Brand was de-monetized by YouTube Tuesday after the Times dug up four women sex accusers whose claims occurred 10 to 20 years ago. The Left hates his popular podcasts that ridicule woke ideology. All might be forgiven if he'll repent and accept Climate Change as his Lord and Savior.
• Hunter Biden, it was reported Tuesday, plans to plead not guilty to federal charges that he lied on his gun application. I'm far more interested in his IRS charges. If Hunter can prove that hookers and a sex club membership are legitimate business deductions, he's a shoo-in for the Medal of Freedom.
• Bill Gates bought one hundred million dollars in Budweiser stock Friday despite its disastrous transgender marketing campaign last spring. He's no stranger to the wild side. Bud Light welcomed Bill Gates's one hundred million dollar investment Friday with limited edition Jeffrey Epstein beer cans.
• The Rolling Stones completed a second album on top of Hackney Diamonds Tuesday that's out in October. Mick Jagger is the same age as Joe Biden, proving that age is a function not a definition. If President Biden were the front man for the Rolling Stones, Start Me Up would be Do Not Resuscitate.
• The New York Post reported a Northwestern University study which found IQ levels in America for young adults age 18-22 are shrinking. I can attest it doesn't increase as you age. Sometimes I think that I'm a smart person, while at other times I put my shoes on before my pants, and reality sets in.
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