June 18th, 2024


Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Sept. 18, 2023

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report


MSNBC's Joe Scarborough said one hundred percent of Democrats in Washington say off-the-record that Biden needs to step aside. It sounds like the establishment is trying to railroad Biden without consulting the rest of the country. Age is unimportant to many Democratic voters, who are dead.

Washington Post reporter and longtime voice of the Establishment and intel community David Ignatius called for Biden to step aside. The CIA and the FBI risk major damage from impeachment revelations. We know this much, if Joe disobeys, they'll have NO trouble making it look like an accident.

The Washington Post called on Biden not to run in 2024 Wednesday and said Kamala Harris should also step aside. She had just told an interviewer last week that she's ready to take over as president. In the meantime, Kamala has been instructed to stop answering every phone call saying, is he dead yet?

Donald Trump soared another six points to sixty-two percent among GOP voters Tuesday, fifty points ahead of DeSantis. One poll of young voters did name Vivek Ramaswamy the most likable presidential candidate. Which, let's face it, is like being named the Best Dressed Person at WalMart.

The New York Times joined the chorus advising Democrats that Biden may not win in 2424. His doubters forget that every creature on earth loves slapstick physical comedy, and that's Joe's ace in the hole. Mosquitoes buzz close to the ear because they love it when people punch themselves in the face.

President Biden gave a speech in Maryland Thursday where he contrasted his economic policies favorably to Trump's policies. The president's day went downhill after that. After the speech, his son Hunter was formally charged with being a lying, dog-faced pony soldier on his gun application form.

The White House faced mounting pressure from MSNBC and CNN as well as the Washington Post Thursday to step aside with Hunter's legal jeopardy now threatening Joe's chances for a 2024 win. In one side effect you can see Gavin Newsom's grinning teeth from the International Space Station.

The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday that Americans are using so much laxative that the makers of Dulcolax report a shortage. It makes no sense. I'm surprised Americans need a laxative when we have got the Business News trying to scare it out of us the moment we wake up every morning.

The Food and Drug Administration last week approved the new Moderna and Pfizer boosters to help protect people from the latest Covid variant. As always the CDC is doing everything it can to help keep everyone calm. The new Covid booster vaccines are now available for everyone who hasn't died yet.

House Republicans demanded federal workers work onsite, not by remote from home, Thursday. They learned twenty-five percent of federal workers are working remote. Last week one of them was playing solitaire and pushed the wrong button and now Ukraine is sure that Russia launched the attack.

The Big Three automakers' CEOs met with Biden Thursday to try to avert a nationwide strike by the United Auto Workers. It's a time of great technological breakthroughs in the auto industry. Ford engineers just invented a car engine that runs on water, but it only runs on water from Camp Le Jeune.

Mexican UFO expert Jamie Suarran went before Mexico's Senate along with two glass-encased mummies purportedly space aliens Tuesday. He calculated the UFO crashed 1,000 years ago and the aliens were fossilized in a mine. I think space aliens are real and that they use the earth as their insane asylum.

New York Jets fans were downcast Tuesday after Aaron Rodgers ruptured his Achilles heel after four plays Monday knocking him out for two years. He will be paid seventy-five million dollars over the next two years for doing nothing. The CDC says it's the first sign that Hunter Biden may be contagious.

Anheuser Busch heir Billy Busch says he'd buy back Bud Light should the beer's parent company AB InBev agree to sell it. The transgender endorsement deal resulted in a four hundred million dollars loss for Budweiser. Dylan Mulvaney was the worst spokesman for alcohol since Teddy Kennedy.

The White House Counsel's office sent out a memo to all the major media outlets on Wednesday demanding that they demonize the House GOP efforts to impeach Biden. Democracy is on life support. Democrats believe Republicans are just using the impeachment to get around our rigged election system.

Dog World announced Tuesday that the annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show sponsored by Purina will be held in Billie Jean King Tennis Stadium in Flushing Meadow next May. I myself bought a guard dog Tuesday but it's useless, it keeps letting everyone in. It's an American Border Collie.

Mexico's Senate was presented with thousand-year-old fossils that appeared to be space aliens on Wednesday. By a startling coincidence, the U.S. Republican House Members also heard from outer space Wednesday. Pluto just demanded to be named a planet again or it'll shut down the entire Universe.

North Korea's dictator Kim Jung Un traveled to Russia to meet with Vladimir Putin at a space facility in Russia Wednesday. Upon arrival in Russia, the North Korean pledged his support to Putin in what he called the sacred struggle against the West. I see that Kim did the sensible thing and took a train.