Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Westminster Hall displayed Queen Elizabeth's casket as hundreds of thousands of mourners came through to pay their respects for over four days. I was unable to fly to London and join the ten-mile-long line of sad and miserable people, so I did the next best thing. I joined the checkout line at WalMart.

• Westminster Abbey hosted Queen Elizabeth's funeral Monday attended by world leaders and royal relatives. Naturally some cable pundits couldn't resist exploiting a solemn state funeral to whip up racial animosity. CNN wanted to know why Queen Elizabeth is getting more funerals than George Floyd.

• Queen Elizabeth was buried in the Royal Vault in St. George's Chapel in Windsor Monday, sealing the end of her era. One thing will never end. As the casket was secured into the vault, the Queen was advised to get an autumn booster shot, as scientists expressed fears that her death could get much worse.

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• President Biden spoke at a Congressional Hispanic Caucus gala in Washington saluting Hispanic Heritage Month, which began Thursday. These dinners are fun. The banquet featured repeated toasts in broken English, but it's always tough to get Joe Biden away from the microphone once he gets started.

• Martha's Vineyard residents were able to dispatch the planeload of arriving illegal migrants to a Massachusetts army base Friday. The residents pointed out that the Vineyard indeed has one homeless shelter. It's where CEOs sleep after their wives kick them out of their house for sleeping with the nanny.

• The White House notes the arrival of Venezuelans is legal since we admit escapees from political persecution. The arrivals declined Governor Newsom's offer of asylum in California. They just came from a collapsing communist hellhole with no electricity, California will just give them nasty flashbacks.

• Disney cast black actress Haile Bailey as Ariel in The Little Mermaid in a feature movie based on the animated film in which Ariel was depicted as white. This won't last long. Once somebody points out that historically a mermaid is a sailor's symbol for a prostitute, they'll give the role to a congressman.

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