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• The Department of Education reported that the latest nationwide math and reading test scores for nine-year-old students dropped. To make it easier, the math question was localized for kids in Los Angeles. If Stephen is sixty-seven and his girlfriend is twenty-two, how much money does Stephen have?
• Senator Chuck Schumer is trying to get a bill to legalize marijuana nationwide passed to override several states where it's still illegal. The mish-mash of different state drug laws can defy logic. For instance, cocaine is legal in the state of Oregon but plastic straws aren't, and that has to be frustrating.
• Business Week says so many millions of Americans working at home has created a vast number of home offices resulting in land-office business for office supply stores. I go to re-stock at least every three weeks. Office supply stores now advertise the black Sharpie as the FBI's preferred highlighter pen.
• The Hollywood Reporter says the broadcast networks face stiff competition for primetime viewers from all the top quality shows on streaming platforms. Apple + is now airing a reality series starring Hillary and her daughter Chelsea called Clintons in Cars Killing Witnesses. It has hit written all over it.
• President Biden denied calling Trump voters a threat to democracy Friday one day after he called Trump voters a threat to democracy on Thursday. It was a mistake to give this speech under dark stage lights. Halfway through the speech, you could see the Check Engine light begin flashing on his forehead.
• GOP House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy responded to the president's Thursday night speech by urging voters to focus on the border chaos, crime and inflation. The economy continues to get worse. To give you an idea how bad it is, Dog the Bounty Hunter is now Dog the Aluminum Can Hunter.
• Governor Gavin Newsom put a moratorium on the death penalty in California. No gas chamber since gas is banned, no electric chair because the grid is out, no firing squad as guns are wrong, no hangings as L.A. smoked all the hemp. To execute someone in California you have to cancel their podcast.
• NASA's Artemis One moon mission launch was scrubbed for the second time due to a persistent leak in a liquid hydrogen connection point Saturday. Artemis was scrubbed earlier last week due to difficulty transferring fuel to the rocket. NASA is finding out what it's like owning a 1990s Ford Fiesta.
• Southern California sweltered in triple digit heat Friday causing the state to ask EV drivers not to charge their cars to spare the power grid. Leave it to California to ban gas-powered cars and then ask electric car drivers not to charge their cars. It turns out the Jetsons aren't the future, the Flinstones are
• CNN's Sara Sidner said the FBI should probe Hunter Biden's ties to Chinese business influence. In the 19th century, England and the U.S. put China on opium for 75 years to extort them for exclusive trading privileges. I simply can't imagine where Hunter gets his cocaine, it seems like he never runs out.
• The White House blasted GOP threats to sue to stop Biden's student loan cancellation as unconstitutional Friday. I've given up resisting and decided to go with the administration's flow. Today I went to the bank to change the gender of my car loan to a student loan, and now the Cadillac is mine, free and clear.
• A Florida judge ordered that a Special Master be appointed to review all the seized documents and personal effects during the FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago last month. The FBI even plundered Melania's closet looking for top classified material. They came away with dozens of items marked Victoria's Secret.
• The White House Communications Office is reported working with social media to help shape news and counter disinformation. In a related story, it was announced that Twitter will now allow users to edit what they post. It gives MAGA Republicans one last chance to avoid going to Re-education Camp.
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