October 24th, 2021


Least Competent Criminals

News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

By News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

Published Sept. 17, 2014

 Least Competent Criminals

(1) A 40-year-old man (not named by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer) was arrested in that city on July 31 after a several-hour, epically inept, crime spree. Attempting to rob a restaurant, he was turned down by employees and customers, then turned down by two potential carjack victims (the first of whom added insult by pulling out her cellphone camera and shooting video), before giving up just as police arrived. (His only take was the $15 he had swiped from the restaurant's tip jar.)

(2) Joshua Pawlak, 27, entered a total of four businesses in Woodbridge, New Jersey, on July 27 and similarly met resistance and/or indifference to his money demands -- and came away from the four with only $2, also from a tip jar. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 8-1-2014] [ (Newark), 8- 6-2014]

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