Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• David Letterman ripped CBS for firing Stephen Colbert over complaints about unrelenting late night partisanship. In the past I've roasted Jimmy Kimmel for whining and crying but Monday night he was cheerful, hilarious and masculine. Then I realized Rosie O'Donnell is hosting the show this week.

• Netflix is airing a four-part documentary series titled American Manhunt about the 1995 O.J. Simpson murder trial, featuring new interviews, a look at the Bronco chase and the racial and cultural impact of the trial. O.J. died of prostate cancer two years ago. A jury found the cancer not guilty.

• U Penn Classics scholar Emily Wilson ripped The Odyssey for re-writing Homer's account of the Trojan War and the long eventful voyage home by Odysseus, a saga which I eagerly studied as a kid. So last night I went to see The Odyssey. It was harder to get through than the Strait of Hormuz.

• Forbes said Trump's leaving Air Force One in Turkey with gorgeous aide Natalie Harp raised questions about their relationship. It prompted anti-Trump gossip in DC. She's so beautiful that a Democratic Federal Judge just ordered Natalie to gain 100 pounds and get one of those butch haircuts.

• Pennsylvania's Attorney General reported the drug bust at the Sigma Chi and Delta Upsilon houses at Penn State Monday. They were supplying the entire campus. The next morning, hundreds of college kids waited for the Verizon store to open up after hearing that Verizon offers 2 lines for $30.

• The WNBA commissioner apologized to two women who were evicted for wearing XX XY tee shirts. Former NBA players are vowing to play in the WNBA if the league doesn't take a stand and ban trans-women. This time next year, every time there's a jump ball, there could be five balls in the air.

• The New York City Council ripped Mayor Mamdani for publishing names and addresses of 900,000 New Yorkers on whom he wants a new tax as 2nd residences. Basically, 900,000 New Yorkers were telling the mayor how DARE you slap an arbitrary tax on my property. The mayor replied OUR property.

• The National Retail Federation reported that Wednesday was celebrated by thrift shops across the country as National Thrift Shop Day. The day encourages second-hand thrift shop retail shopping, promoting sustainability throughout the circular economy. This year the theme was, What's That Smell?

• James Carville told the Democratic Socialists to form their own party and leave the dems alone. It's against human nature. I know a lot of Democratic Socialists in Hollywood and their belief in An Equal Share for Everybody goes right out the window the moment they start winning at Monopoly.

• NBC News reported West Hollywood is still reeling from two water pipes bursting that flooded out businesses and apartments a month ago. The exploding water pipes and shoddy infrastructure can be traced to West Hollywood's incorporation in 1984. We built this city on rock 'n' roll, and it shows.

• The Powerball Lottery was won last weekend by an Illinois man whose ticket won him $1.04 billion. Whenever the total hits $1 billion, I'd buy a ticket myself if it weren't for the long line at the register. If you think Donald Trump acts like a rich jerk, wait till you see ME with a billion dollars cash.

• WalMart's supplier of low-carb ice cream, Rebel Creamery, filed bankruptcy Friday while WalMart's soup was recalled over a Listeria outbreak. On top of that, a Kansas woman has been reportedly accused of herding goats through a WalMart while drinking margaritas from a jug. Your move, Florida.

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