Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert refused to say what the W in the WNBA stands for while former NBA players were vowing to enter the WNBA by identifying as women. It finally took Elmer Fudd to give the commissioner the correct answer. He said the W in WNBA stands for Wesbians.

• White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt stated she's resigning Friday, and the search is on for her replacement. Trump has narrowed it down to people who are fierce supporters of his policies, true believers in his mission and the winner of at least 2 beauty pageants. That's clearly Scott Jennings.

• The New York Post reports Robert De Niro celebrated his 83rd birthday Sunday with close friends and fellow actors in New York City. He's leaving quite a legacy. De Niro made the Guinness Book three years ago when he became a proud father at the age of 80, tying the biblical Abraham's record.

• Disney Studio's ex-CEO Bob Iger bought the L.A. Lakers for $12 billion, but Lakers fans worry that the hyper-woke way he ran Disney studio will affect the team. The last animated movie that Iger green-lighted in 2025 premieres in September about a transgender whale. It's called Maybe Dick.

• President Trump spoke to a friendly crowd at a police awards ceremony in Nassau County, New York, Friday. Trump announced the Strait of Hormuz will become U.S. territory, which would technically make Trump the President of the Strait of Hormuz. Boy, now the protests over there will REALLY start.

• The Kennedy Center Board voted to put Trump's name on the marquee underneath John F. Kennedy's. The White House says it isn't stolen valor. Jack Kennedy served aboard the PT-109 speedboat in World War II, and Trump served on the Sky Chef Catering Truck during the War with Iran.

• President Trump switched off Air Force One in Turkey for a military plane due to the threat on his life from Iran, in what was the last flight for this Air Force One. Life patterns are hard to break. Donald Trump is leaving his current Air Force One for a younger, more beautiful Air Force One.

• Iran threw down the gauntlet Friday, claiming they are the ones in control of the Strait of Hormuz, not the U.S. I'm taking a page out of Trump's Iran playbook and calling my relationship with my girlfriend a complete success. The restraining order is just a sign that we're nearing a peace agreement.

• Fox News reported Trump's peace negotiators went around Iran's leaders to try to deal directly with the Revolutionary Guard. The two-week agreed lull in the fighting ended on Monday. This year if you join the National Guard you sign up to fight Iran one week a month and two weeks each summer.

• President Trump electrified a police awards ceremony in Nassau County Friday by announcing plans to annex the Strait of Hormuz as U.S. territory. I immediately texted the president telling him I'd be greatly honored if he renamed the Strait of Hormuz after me, calling it the Straight of West Hollywood.

• Norway World Cup superstar Erling Haaland's image was on a thousand one-pound packets of cocaine seized in Ecuador. Maybe that'd help get it across the Caribbean. Last week I heard an L.A. guy invite a girl to go sailing, saying if he had any more coke on his boat, Pete Hegseth would blow it up.

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