Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• The Dallas Cowboys are in training camp in Oxnard, California, which is a cool seaside enclave in Southern California far from the Texas heat. In addition to the heat, North Texas was just hit by dust storms. Apparently the glass door of the Cowboys Super Bowl trophy case accidentally popped open.

• The Miss America Pageant will be held in Palm Beach with contestants under tight scrutiny this year. They discovered Thursday that Miss North Carolina used the N-word in a past tweet and she had to give up her Miss North Carolina title. Five minutes later, she was crowned Miss New Jersey.

• The Nixon Library in Yorba Linda hosted a conference Sunday marking the anniversary of the 1974 resignation from office of President Nixon as he faced likely obstruction of justice charges. At the time Nixon was suffering from phlebitis. You can’t screw that many people and not catch something.

• Iran’s Supreme National Security Council said Sunday the Strait of Hormuz will remain closed until the U.S. ends the blockade, halts attack and withdraws from the region. On top of all that, the Iranians are demanding reparations. Angry protestors are toppling statues of Robert E. Lee in Teheran.

• President Trump tried to relax on the golf course Sunday but did not respond warmly to Iran’s threat that day to close the Strait of Hormuz if the U.S. didn’t halt military attacks, withdraw from the region and pay reparations. Trump happens to be a top-rated amateur golfer. His handicap is Congress.

• The Iranian Parliament was reported considering a bill Friday that would ban all ships from the United States or Israel from entering the Strait of Hormuz. I can relate. I’m labeled the Straight of West Hollywood and no one from the United States, Israel or anywhere else is allowed to enter me either.

• President Trump hosted leading mining executives in the Oval Office on Friday to roll out new measures to facilitate critical minerals production. It takes a lot of energy to power our AI plants. AI is necessary to maintain America’s strategic supply of virtual girlfriends, and remain ahead of China.

• Politico reports the high number of Democratic Muslim candidates requires heightened cultural sensitivity from the rest of us. Last week I saw a Muslim college kid in a booth who downloaded the entire Koran on one DVD. Impressed, I asked him to burn me a copy and that’s when the trouble started.

• American Heritage warned that Islamic culture in on the rise in the U.S. contrary to our existing culture. It’s contrary to 400 years of our inherited British culture, laws, liberties, language, religion and institutions of higher learning. Five times a day American college students answer the Call to Beer.

• Jill Biden with Kelly Ripa defended Joe’s performance as president Friday and maintained he would have beaten Donald Trump in the election. A recent study of seniors concluded that having sex helps senior men to avoid cognitive decline. If that’s true, then Jill Biden needs to step up her game.

• GOP Senator Mitch McConnell was finally released from the hospital after months of treatment for pneumonia, sparking rumors he’s died. His staff insisted to Kentucky’s Democratic governor who’s anxious to name his successor that Mitch has just been moved out to a farm in the country.

• The Christian Science Monitor says Catholic Church attendance in the U.S. is way up this year. Sunday I was walking past Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Beverly Hills and a woman came running up the sidewalk toward me and asked me if Mass is out. I told her no, but your hat’s on crooked.

• The National Institute on Aging issued advice on longevity advising a regimen of mindset shifts, strength training, and whole food nutrition as core pillars of aging gracefully. That doesn’t sound like fun. Why age gracefully when you can age like an old cheese, full of character and slightly offensive.

(COMMENT, BELOW)