Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• President Trump claimed he's owed reparations from Biden's DOJ Monday. Back when I was in college, whenever anyone said America stole this country from the Indians, I'm the wise guy who points out no, we stole it from England. I couldn't have found a faster way to get run out of Oklahoma.

• Cracker Barrel angered fans by eliminating the Sunrise Sampler, a platter of eggs, grits, fried apples, hash brown casserole, sausage, bacon, ham and biscuits with gravy. I'd better lay low on this one. Last summer I regained the will to live after Cracker Barrel agreed to put my face back on the logo.

• L.A. Sheriff's deputies arrested a suspect sizing up security on Trump's golf course in L.A. Sunday before Trump's arrival. He had weapons and hollow point bullets in his car. According to USGA Rules, Trump is the only golfer who's legally allowed to take a Mulligan if shots ring out during his backswing.

• NFL training camps have begun in earnest ahead of the league's opening game on Wednesday September 9th. Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce showed up for training camp last week with a protruding belly from being overweight. Either that or he's pregnant with his and Taylor's first child.

• President Trump stopped in Las Vegas Wednesday to highlight his Working Families Tax Cut bill to a crowd at the Red Rock Casino. During the 2024 campaign Las Vegas voters didn't hear Trump clearly when he promised No Tax on Tips. They thought it was a tax break for topless show girls.

• The White House hosted military veterans in the Oval Office where President Trump unveiled a plan to replace illegal truck drivers with military veterans. The president said you have no business driving a big rig truck in America if you can't speak English. But you have every right to drive an Uber.

• Michigan Democratic Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed drew fire by attending a swimming pool party hosted by Far Left agitator Hasan Piker the night before the primary. Generally speaking, it's not a successful pool party until some idiot walks face-first into a sliding glass door. I'm fine, by the way.

• New York Mayor Mamdani hosted a media event to tout his government-owned food stores. Mamdani pointed out to everyday New Yorkers that his government-owned store food will be 30% cheaper than regular grocery stores. Everyday New Yorkers replied to Mamdani that it's 100% cheaper if you steal it.

• New York Mayor Mamdani tried to dismiss questions Monday on whether photo IDs will be needed to buy 30% discount food at his government grocery stores. This week Mayor Zohran Mamdani posed proudly in front of the sign above New York's first Socialist convenience store. The sign reads 9-Eleven.

• The Los Angeles Times reported that UCLA researchers created an Only Fans account to show videos of their work with marmots after government funding dried up for the work. So in desperation they went on Only Fans. It must have been weird for the scientists to do their research while in the nude.

• The National Institute of Standards and Technology advised major corporations and websites to abandon bi-monthly password expiration requirements in the name of cyber security. That's a load off my back. Password expiration policies force me to change the name of my dog every sixty days.

(COMMENT, BELOW)