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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published August 29, 2024

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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The White House was hit by an ominous Gallup Poll Friday which says that 63% of Americans say the country is headed in the wrong direction. It so happens that a friend just asked me if I had any plans for the fall. It took me a second to realize he meant autumn and not the collapse of civilization.

Red Lobster reported closure of 23 more restaurants, bringing the total number of closed Red Lobsters to 129. The restaurant executives have only themselves to blame. Red Lobster should have foreseen that the legalization of marijuana would destroy any profitability of the All You Can Eat Buffet.

The Christian Science Monitor noted a drop in Catholic, Protestant and Evangelical churches in the past year. Secular progressivism has a strong pull on young people. Our congregation last Sunday heard a sermon describing the Seven Deadly Sins, or as they are known in Hollywood, the Bill of Rights.

Mark Zuckerberg said Facebook caved in to White House pressure to censor jokes about Covid vaccines and jokes about the strippers, crack and family graft on Hunter's laptop. Zuck won't get my forgiveness. I will never get the two months back in my life for the time he threw me in Facebook jail.

Donald Trump's Secret Service detail was strengthened while five agents guarding him during the assassination attempt in Pennsylvania have been reassigned. It's no less dangerous guarding his opponent. Secret Service agents who guard Kamala Harris have to swear to take a question for her.

Donald Trump's campaign howled Tuesday when the media reported that Kamala is in favor of a border wall after she backed the porous bi-partisan border bill. She wasn't much of a border czar. L.A. neighborhoods are so quiet at night the only time you hear any noise is whenever El Salvador scores.

Kamala Harris and her VP running mate Tim Walz will board a campaign bus Friday and go on a swing through Georgia. Tim Walz is along as a language interpreter. He's the first national Democrat candidate who can speak fluent college football to Southerners since Bill Clinton and Al Gore.

Special Counsel Jack Smith filed a more specific indictment against Trump, complying with the Supreme Court's immunity ruling. The more specific charge is still subject to the DC court calendar. Democrats are disappointed that Trump's mattress tag removal trial won't occur until after the election.

California lawmakers are reported set to pass a bill to offer illegal aliens $150,000 loans to buy a house in California. It would all be paid for by the taxpayers. California legislators stay in physical shape for their legislative sessions by going to the beach and stealing the potato chips from the sea gulls.

NBC News reported Tuesday that the Northeast is on the alert for a mosquito-borne virus called Triple EEE. It's abbreviated for Eastern Equine Encephalitis. In Massachusetts last week, one of the mosquitoes bit Senator Elizabeth Warren‘s arm, and just like that, there went all her Cherokee blood.

The Daily Mail reports angry protests in England over the street violence tied to the huge recent wave of illegal immigration into the UK. They had to cancel the annual theatrical production of Jack and the Beanstalk on the London stage this Christmas. Apparently the Giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.

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