Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The Paris Olympics closing ceremony drew huge ratings for NBC Sunday. People in L.A. are still talking about the pole vault moment when the athlete’s penis knocked down the cross bar. Everyone who heard about it had the same question, was it the men’s pole vault or the women’s pole vault event?

• President Biden said Sunday he was pushed out of the race by party elders since he might hurt House and Senate candidates. Kamala was installed without one vote and Trump gets sentenced in New York in 4 weeks. The number one clothing store in Venezuelan shopping malls is American Republic.

• Donald Trump backed up his story that he and Willie Brown nearly went down in a helicopter in 2011. The SF Mayor is caught between two similar tales involving the 2024 candidates. Trump nearly went down in a helicopter with Mayor Brown while Kamala went down on Mayor Brown in a helicopter.

• Politico reports the Harris-Walz campaign have begun selling military camouflage caps online for supporters to wear calling them Camo Caps. Last week a helpful media encouraged Americans to take a really good look at Tim Walz and I think I’ve got it. He played the skipper on Gilligan’s Island.

• Kamala Harris pledged to end taxes on tips Saturday a month after Trump did, and she agreed to back fracking, support law and order, and to shut down the border. She’s stealing Trump’s act. Next, Kamala’s going to dump her husband and replace him with a younger, hotter Eastern European husband.

• The Washington Post noted Monday that Kamala is taking her opponent’s themes. She ran for the Senate as an Indian, then she ran for VP as an African American, and now she’s running for President as a Trump. Her Netflix series will be called Brown is the New Black is That Is Now Orange.

• Elon Musk reported Monday that a massive cyber-attack against X, formerly Twitter, delayed his interview with Donald Trump before millions of viewers. Musk’s people were unable to thwart it. The difference between a cyber attack and IT support is that one of them has the incentive to succeed.

• European Union Commissioner Breton Thierry warned Elon Musk to comply with EU’s laws against racist and harmful content ahead of Elon’s interview with Trump Monday. The world is becoming too sensitive. Soon, I won't be able to make fun of myself without other people being offended.

• NASA was debating how to return two astronauts from the International Space Station Saturday after failed attempts to get the Boeing return capsule to work. They may have to wait until next year to return. Boeing volunteered to compensate the stranded astronauts with $50 Applebee’s gift cards.

• Newsweek reported a revival of teaching the Greek and Roman classics to kids in charter schools in recent years. For my fellow Baby Boomers who were raised on the classics, today in a parking lot I saw the greatest bumper sticker on the back of a Honda Odyssey. It reads My Other Car Is an Iliad.

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