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• Forbes reports that Americans will end up spending two hundred and fourteen billion dollars on vacations this summer. I insist that my vacations involve travel and adventure, even to the point of danger. Last week I went on a safari in downtown Los Angeles and got attacked by an angry white wino.
• The NFL season will kick off in Kansas City on the Thursday after Labor Day. Training camp is the time of year that every NFL team is setting high goals. In an effort to become good enough to get into the playoffs and make it into the championship title game, the Dallas Cowboys just joined the Big 12.
• Los Angeles flash mob lawlessness resulted in calls for more parental discipline if not jail time for delinquents. Last Sunday, a few kids slipped out of our church nursery and into the kitchen and drew stick figures on the white refrigerator with magic markers. It looked like a Hunter Biden original.
• The Los Angeles Times reported that Maui fire survivors are expressing anger that the electricity wasn't shut down on the wires when the fires started spreading and that the sirens failed to sound. It's inexplicable to me that their sirens didn't go off in Hawaii. We know for a fact they worked in 1941.
• President Biden spoke on relief efforts in Hawaii Tuesday and he pledged the residents every full measure of federal support in the recovery effort from his cabinet. Even the Department of Justice is pitching in. Next week, Trump will be indicted for starting the fires on Maui by denying climate change.
• The New York Post reports eight Republican candidates have met the threshold to qualify for the presidential debate in Iowa next week. It's beside the point. By the end of 2024 at the current pace, Donald Trump could be elected president and still have more indictments than Electoral College votes.
• Hillary Clinton was appearing on MSNBC's Rachel Maddow Show when the Trump indictment was announced from Atlanta while they were live on the air Tuesday night, and she tried not to act giddy. Hillary faced the camera and said she took no pleasure in Trump's indictments. It took five takes.
• Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis charged Donald Trump with forty-one counts of criminal enterprise on Tuesday night. I am no songwriter, but Tuesday was Arraigny Night in Georgia. After sixty years of chasing after fanny, the tables have turned on Trump and now Fanny is chasing after him.
• House Republicans noted every time the GOP House Oversight Committee presents new evidence on Hunter Biden, Trump faces new charges. You can't make it up. The GOP Oversight Committee is doing a far better job of getting Trump indicted than the Democrats could when they ran the Committee.
• Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellin admitted Tuesday she ate psychedelic magic mushrooms during a dinner while she was in China last week. The mushrooms cause you to hallucinate and see things that simply aren't there. At one point she was so high that she saw a way out for the Biden family.
• President Biden pitched his economic policy to Milwaukee on Monday but the Gallup poll shows only one-third of Americans polled approve of the job he's doing. Inflation has everybody cutting back and angry about it. Times are so tough that last night, the Walton family was seen shopping at WalMart.
• The National Football League dropped Lizzo as a possible performer at the Super Bowl halftime show in Las Vegas in February. It's because Lizzo was just publicly accused of sexually harassing and fat-shaming her back-up dancers. They also complained that no one could see them dancing behind her.
• The Las Vegas Convention and Tourism Board is already preparing for the city to host the 2024 Super Bowl on the second weekend of February in the Raiders home stadium. However, the game's date is flexible. After Monday's indictments the NFL may reschedule the Super Bowl after the Civil War.
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