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• Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic launched its first passengers into space Thursday, gliding safely to landing at Spaceport America in New Mexico. We're at the dawn of an exciting new era. Virgin is now the third company to offer billionaires space travel as an alternative to death by submarine.
• Whoopi Goldberg told The View she wants to host Wheel of Fortune when Pat Sajak retires next year. She started out under her born name Caryn Johnson as a superb improvisational actress in San Diego. Until she adopted her stage name, Whoopi Goldberg was a novelty cushion sold in Israel.
• An L.A. flash mob plundered a Nordstrom's in the suburban West Valley Saturday and made off with a hundred thousand dollars in luxury merchandise. They took out the security guard with bear spray. The smartest looter also stole a mannequin and drove back to South Central in the carpool lane.
• The Hollywood Reporter spoke with The Sound of Freedom director Alejandro Monteverde about why the box office hit struck a raw nerve with the entertainment industry. The proposed sequel to the child trafficking movie is expected to attract a lot of Hollywood names. So apparently it's a documentary.
• University of Texas epidemiologist Dr. Katelyn Jetelaina urged PBS listeners Thursday to mask up at home, at work and on the road to keep guarding against Covid. If you are STILL wearing a mask while you are driving alone, you do not need that Biden in 2024 sticker on the back of your car. We know.
• Donald Trump was mobbed by supporters when he showed up at the Iowa State Fair Saturday in Des Moines. It overshadowed his rivals. His possible appearance at the Iowa debate was labeled a distraction by GOP candidate Asa Hutchinson, who hasn't even qualified to be an event coordinator.
• Donald Trump assured Iowa Fair goers on Saturday that he will be exonerated of all charges. Most defendants who agree to a trial think they're perfectly innocent. This past month an Illinois man was arrested for engaging in what he called innocent horseplay, but the district attorney called it bestiality.
• GOP candidate Vivek Ramaswamy performed an Eminem rap song during his stage time at the Iowa State Fair. The Iowans went wild enjoying a Hindu man performing a hip hop song recorded by a white rapper. How many different ways do blacks have a reparations claim against this performance?
• The Nancy Pelosi Federal Building in San Francisco ordered workers to stay home Monday as it's too dangerous to come to work there. There's so many homeless in SF it makes renters feel like the landed gentry. Living in San Francisco's like being married to a beautiful woman who's always sick.
• President Biden on Monday signed a Major Disaster Declaration for the state of Hawaii and Joe ordered all federal resources in response to the fires. The order was to go in effect six hours after the president signed it. Out of habit, they had to fire the prosecutor first before Joe would release the money.
• The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally drew tens of thousands of bikers to South Dakota. The Bud Light tent had no customers amid the boycott over its association with a transgender influencer. I was born a male, I identify as a male but according to Stouffer's Macaroni and Cheese, I am a family of four.
• The Washington Post reports a Native American group demanded the new owner of the NFL Washington Commanders change their name back to the Redskins. I agree. The name Redskins can inspire kids to learn Indian lore, like always stick on sixteen if the dealer is not showing a face card.
• The National Football League reportedly dropped hip hop star Lizzo from its roster of possible Super Bowl Halftime Show performers this year. She's being sued by her back-up dancers for fat shaming and sexual harassment. However Lizzo is free to play linebacker for either side in the game.
• Gambler: Secrets from a Life at Risk details how Phil Mickelson spent a billion dollars betting on sports. It covers his SEC fine for insider trading on Clorox stock in 2014. Off the top of my head, I'd say insider trading on Clorox Bleach is the whitest crime you can commit without a sheet over your head.
• The Wall Street Journal reported that Zoom ordered all their workers to stop working by Zoom at home and to come back and perform their work at Zoom offices. So now all the Big Tech companies have ordered employees to return to company headquarters. Mass firings are always more fun in person.
• The New York Post published a letter Barack Obama wrote his girlfriend when he was twenty-one years old in which he confessed to her that he fantasized daily about having sex with men. It's no big deal in today's American culture. However Kenya just offered to provide proof he was born in the United States.
• The U.S. Office of Administrative Courts published numbers showing that of criminal defendants in federal court cases who plead not guilty and go to trial, ninety-nine percent of the defendants are found guilty. It's of no consolation to the Democrats. Donald Trump is definitely among the one percent.
• Attorney General Merrick Garland appointed Delaware U.S. Attorney David Weiss to be Special Counsel for the Hunter Biden investigation. It prompted outrage from Republicans that the DOJ named Hunter's sweetheart plea deal facilitator to prosecute him. I guess Marsha Clark was unavailable.
• President Biden dodged questions from reporters about Hunter getting a Special Counsel Friday morning and flew off to his beach house in Delaware. If the president can enjoy long weekends so can I. Every Friday I turn off all the cable news channels and watch a serial killer documentary to relax.
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