Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Warner Bros. faced protests in Japan for its combined Oppenheimer and Barbie promos they've titled Barbenheimer. A theater in L.A. runs a Three Stooges movie before Oppenheimer to lighten the mood. The poster outside shows a mushroom cloud over Larry, Mo and Curly and the title Wisenheimer.

• The Wall Street Journal reports Walgreens is closing one hundred-fifty stores due to losses from mob shoplifting. In addition to that, CVS is firing five thousand workers and they must return their keys to the deodorant. It's insane that the deodorant aisle at CVS has better security than the U.S. Border.

• A Whiteness Studies professor at San Francisco State said white men who treat other races equally are not wearing their white history with enough shame. Kipling's fabled burden is especially burdensome to me. I'm so white I can't even walk down the street without tiny little alligators jumping onto my shirt.

• Rosa Parks was memorialized in statue in Alabama where the civil rights legend was arrested in 1955 for refusing to sit in the back of the bus. Race relations in our nation have come a long way in my lifetime. Yesterday Lizzo was ordered to sit in the back of the bus, but that was to balance the bus.

• Mike Pence turned on his former boss last week declaring that he had a choice on January 6th of following Trump or following the Constitution. He's become the good little boy in class all the kids hate. The next week Denny's restaurants in Iowa named a menu item after Mike Pence, it's called Toast.

• Human Rights Watch posted a photo gallery to shed light on the women in Afghanistan confined there under harsh Islamic law that outlaws all expressions of modern life. One of the photos shows two Afghan women engaged in a passionate kiss. That's a great way to get stoned without smoking weed.

• The London Daily Mail reports that Buckingham Palace made no mention of Meghan Markle's forty-third birthday Thursday. Prince Harry and Meghan told an interviewer Friday their goal is to give Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet a nice normal life. Right after they've finished monetizing them.

• Niger's regime fell to a military coup despite a French Army garrison there to protect the regime. The French Army's evacuation was the model of efficiency and professionalism. The French Army can do everything that the German Army can do, except they have to do it backwards and in high heels.

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