Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The Mayo Clinic says long nightly sleep restores health and brain functions and leads to longer life. Sleeping in every morning greatly contributes to the long life spans of comedians. Last fall, Woody Allen turned 90 years old, which means his wife is 55 years old, and his daughter is 55 years old.

• The New York Times reported that binge drinking is on the steep rise with young adults who are heedless of its severe health risks. The habit can follow you into middle age. In a related story, while Kamala Harris was attending a WNBA game on Sunday she sank more shots than both teams combined.

• Kamala Harris visited the locker room of the WNBA Los Angeles Sparks on Sunday after their victory over Chicago. She praised the WNBA for their athleticism and impact. Their nightly impact on Caitlyn Clark is so brutal she's close to landing a huge endorsement deal with Kaiser Permanente.

• The Running of the Bulls wrapped up its 2-week event in Pamplona Spain Tuesday. Thousands of young men are cheered by townspeople as they sprint ahead of 6 charging bulls through the streets of Pamplona at risk of being gored or stampeded. It's the world's only sanctioned Straight Pride Parade.

• Fox News aired a bystander's video of a bull bison charging a 65-year-old man in Yellowstone National Park and knocking him 8 feet in the air, seriously injuring the tourist. He'd agitated bull the bison while he was grazing. This is Wyoming where even the buffalo enjoy a Stand Your Ground law.

• Turkey President Erdogan gave each NATO leader a fully loaded Magnum revolver as a going-away ceremony gift . Trump somehow made it out alive. Any Republican president who's in a room with 32 armed Socialists and escapes without being shot has, what we call in Los Angeles, good people skills.

• President Trump ordered attacks on Iran's coastal drone sites Monday and a blockade on Iranian oil after Iran resumed attacking oil tankers and U.S. naval bases. We fully intend to re-start peace talks once the Iranian hardliners come to their senses and surrender. Stop me if you've heard this joke before.

• CNN aired video of buildings in Teheran covered in huge banners that read Kill Trump. He gets it from all directions. I'm not saying the universe writes jokes, but if you fly from the newly-named Donald J. Trump Airport in Palm Beach to the Sioux City, Iowa, airport, your ticket will read DJT-SUX.

• Mayor Mamdani caused an uproar Thursday by erasing Little Italy from the official city map that lists New York's ethnic neighborhoods. Don't even guess the pushback. Mamdami thinks he can get away with insulting all the Italians in New York because he has a driver, he doesn't have to start his car.

• Senator Mitch McConnell posted a hospital photo Monday to prove he'd not dead as rumored. Kentucky's Democratic governor wants to name a Democrat to replace him. The rumors that Mitch has passed on continued Monday afternoon after Mitch reported talking to Lindsay Graham for 20 minutes.

• Senator Lindsay Graham died suddenly at 71 Sunday just after returning from Ukraine. He was a co-author of the Voter ID Act in the Senate. As it is today, 24 states demand photo ID to vote, 12 states require just any ID, while in California they don't ask in which province of Mexico were you born.

• Sean Hannity led the mourning for Senator Lindsay Graham who got suddenly sick and died after a mysterious 2-day illness Monday. It raised 2 questions. He'd just returned from Ukraine and Republicans wonder if Putin poisoned him and if he did, will Maine Democrats run Putin for the Senate.

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