Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• George Washington's plantation at Mt. Vernon, Virginia, hosted a spectacular 250th anniversary of America party on July 4th. It was a family estate. George's brother Lawrence Washington never receives any recognition for being the Uncle of Our Country but then everybody has a crazy Uncle Larry.

• San Diego is preparing for its huge annual Comic-Con convention at the San Diego Convention Center in July. We've recently learned that super-hero comic book women possess abilities that the super-hero men don't have. Superman could never lose $100 million in one week but Super Girl just did.

• Uganda's Defense Minister posted a letter to Jay-Z ahead of Beyonce's African trip telling Jay-Z to give him Beyonce. The Ugandan said if he refuses, they must fight for Beyonce and the winner gets her. It's better than the 2023 fight between Joe Alwyn and Travis Kelce, when the loser got Taylor Swift.

• New York Mayor Mamdani told New Yorkers to set their thermostats to 78 degrees as the brutal heat wave rolled into town with triple-digit temperatures. Socialists are bent on equalizing pain. French police just busted an Al Qaeda cell in Paris for plotting a terrorist attack with an air conditioner running.

• President Trump's tax records show he made $565 million last year from investments he assured were made by a blind trust. It was his lucky day. Without even trying, Trump became the President of the Planet Earth after the Democratic Socialist Party declared that everyone in the world is American.

• The DNC ripped Trump about his tax returns that show he made $565 million last year on stock and crypto investments made by his blind trust. Personally I don't know my assets from my elbow. But after 250 years, it annoys Democrats to know we have a president with more money than the country.

• The Ayatollah Khameini held a state funeral in Teheran for his slain father the ex-Ayatollah last week as his rabid followers marched chanting Death to America! The son is at a political crossroads. Khameini can remain Ayatollah or he can go for the sure thing and run for the Senate seat in New York.

• Politico says the Democratic Socialists are overwhelmingly young college graduates. They've had a phone in their hands since infancy. Gen Z's believe if you press your accelerator pedal with your right foot at the same time you press your brake pedal with your left foot, your car will take a screenshot.

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• Psychology Today published a study on self-centered attitudes and behaviors which judged that Los Angeles is the most narcissistic city in America. I concur. I was standing in line at Starbucks Friday when a woman in front of me suddenly started choking, but thankfully, they opened another line.

• England's American Museum and Gardens in Bath displayed a Declaration of Independence copy on July 4th recalling a much different England and a much different America than even 50 years ago. Today England plays Mexico in the World Cup and the entire Middle East will be watching. With Saudi Arabia out, Egypt out and Iran out, England is the last Muslim country in the World Cup.

• Independence Day arrived Saturday amid a Harvard study warning that July 4th celebrations tend to turn children into conservatives. Reaction was swift. The teachers' union was horrified to hear it takes just a few fireworks and a patriotic speech to undo 270 days of public school education.

• President Trump opened the Teddy Roosevelt Library, citing Teddy's heroism in the War of 1898 when the U.S. took Cuba, Puerto Rico, Guam, and Philippines in 6 weeks. Well, if Coca-Cola contained 3 grams of cocaine in every bottle today like it did in 1898, Iran would've been a U.S. colony since April.

• Iran's World Cup team flew home to Teheran after being eliminated Friday after they played all three opponents to a tie. The Iranians had to train in Tijuana. Playing three national teams to a draw isn't bad when half your team is running toward the goal and the other half is running to the bathroom.

• The State Department set up hospital ships off the coast of Venezuela to help earthquake victims in Caracas. It's not the only natural disaster demanding sudden attention. President Trump just sent the Peace Corps to Europe to teach their natives how to create air conditioning with the push of a button.

• Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce got married at Madison Square Garden. Now single girls want to top the wedding. My friend said she wanted to feel like an English Princess on her wedding day so we made her marry a man she'd never met in order to secure an alliance with the House of Hanover.

• The Dallas Morning News reported that the escaped Giraffe named Gracie was still missing on Tuesday somewhere in the Texas Hill Country two weeks after disappearing from a ranch. There's more. In a related story a Texas barbecue restaurant just set the world record for the longest rack of ribs.

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