Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Kamala Harris denied ever being the Border Czar Thursday as video of her past radical views flooded social media. Kamala Harris is now distancing herself from anything Kamala Harris ever said or did. The media made it clear that any attempt to connect Kamala to Kamala is racist and sexist.

• Donald Trump addressed huge campaign rallies in West Palm Beach and Minnesota Saturday before announcing plans to return to Butler Pennsylvania for a make-up rally. Trump is returning to where he nearly took a shot to the face. That's like Kamala going back into Mayor Willie Brown's office.

• Rap star Snoop Dogg represented the United States by carrying the Olympic torch into the Paris Olympic Stadium on Friday night during the Opening Night Ceremonies in France. Let's just say it was not our finest hour. Snoop thought the torch was a vape and he kept trying to take a hit off it.

• The Olympic Opening Night Ceremony in Paris featured French drag queens reenacting Christ and the Last Supper scene in Michelangelo's famous painting. Christian leaders worldwide were apoplectic. In retrospect, we probably should have let the Nazis keep France as a consolation prize.

• The Paris Olympic Committee apologized for the Opening Ceremony show which featured drag queens parodying the painting of Jesus at the Last Supper with his Disciples. They said they've learned a lesson about offensive entertainment. So at the closing ceremony, they're going with blackface.

• The New York Post says immigration is the top concern of 2024 voters. Friday an Iowa tourist went into a New York bookstore and asked the owner if he had Trump's new book on illegal immigration and the owner told him to get out and stay out. That's the one, said the tourist, do you have it in paperback?

• Kamala Harris said that Trump wants to dismantle the federal bureaucracy as proposed by the Heritage Foundation's Project 2025 blueprint. The Deep State is fighting back. On Thursday FBI Chief Chris Wray told Congress it was possible that Trump's right ear just magically blew a hole in itself.

• FBI Director Chris Wray caused a firestorm in Congress Thursday by suggesting Trump might not have been hit a bullet but by shrapnel. The Deep State is implying there's no reason to see Trump as a hero because a shrapnel wound suggests he wasn't in any real danger. It was just a grenade.

• The FBI said it's scanning profiles on anyone who might harm a president. Lincoln, McKinley, Reagan, Ford and Trump's shooters were white people. So to predict the next presidential assassin you might want to start with The General Society of Mayflower Descendants and work your way from there.

• Donald Trump announced on Saturday he'll speak at another outdoor campaign rally in Butler, Pennsylvania. Three weeks ago he was so rudely interrupted. In a related story, the Secret Service is reportedly ready to end its DEI hiring standards and is now advertising for men with roofing experience.

• President Biden made a TV address to the nation Wednesday announcing he's stepping down from the 2024 Democratic ticket. The speech was nothing if not grandiose. President Biden compared himself to President Franklin D. Roosevelt, who just like Joe, couldn't walk up stairs and died in office.

• President Biden stated he still has goals to attain in his remaining six months in office. It's an ambitious list. In the time he has left, Joe still hopes to reform the Supreme Court, get a Middle East peace deal, wear the same pair of underwear all day, and bomb New Guinea for eating Uncle Bosey.

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