Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The William Paley Media Center and Museum in New York opened an exhibit this week honoring the 25th anniversary of the first season of The West Wing starring Martin Sheen as the president. He's truly a man ahead of his times. In 1979 Martin Sheen was in Apocalypse Now and today we all are.

• People interviewed jurors in the Alec Baldwin manslaughter case in New Mexico and they each said the shooting was clearly an accident. The case was thrown out by the judge anyway. Alec Baldwin's case getting thrown out is about as close as it gets for Democrats to Trump winning in court.

• The Economist reports Americans are exhausted from the 2024 race which has included a debate exposing Joe's senility, a failed Trump assassination and a party coup throwing Joe away for Kamala. I don't think we should elect a president this fall. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.

• Democratic Party elites moved swiftly Monday to anoint Kamala and label anyone who criticizes her as racist and sexist. Trump is saying he took a bullet for democracy. Whenever I'm onstage at the Comedy Store and chatting with Canadians, I always ask them what it's like living above a crack house.

• Donald Trump asked the New York Appeals Court to throw out his $454 million fine in the civil fraud case Monday. Donald is riding high now. Thanks to his taking a bullet through his ear and then standing back up with his fist in the air, Trump jokes and Chuck Norris jokes are now interchangeable.

• President Biden was reportedly approached by White House aides and Obama aides Saturday who urged the president to leave the ticket, saying he can't win. It was a daring thing to attempt, especially given Biden's hot temper, but on Sunday Joe quit the race. The question now is, who's going to tell him?

• The New York Times says a Parkinson's specialist visited the White House eight times the last eight months, which could be good news for Joe. Ozzy Osborne told People he's grateful he has Parkinson's instead of dementia, which makes sense. You'd rather lose half your coke than forget where you put it altogether.

• Kamala Harris came under increased scrutiny Monday for her role in covering up Joe Biden's condition. The optics got messy. Trump rally supporters began wearing white bandages over their ears to show their support. leaving Biden rally supporters to have to wear Depends to show their support.

• President Biden was cheerful and supportive on audio to his Delaware volunteers with Kamala Monday. His future path was just happily secured. Joe will serve out the remaining six months, then he will be flown down to Orlando and become the only living robot in Disney World's Hall of Presidents.

• Donald Trump's campaign explained Monday that his repeated references to Hannibal Lector is a reference to the dangerous people we have crossing the border. Everything we say and do has to be put in context. Jesus Loves You is a beautiful sentiment, unless you happen to be in a Mexican prison.

• The San Francisco Chronicle reported that when Kamala was a San Francisco prosecutor, she was the mistress lover of the married Mayor Willie Brown, who helped raise her up through the party ranks. Today she could be our next president. Kamala is an inspiration to side chicks everywhere.

• Governor Gavin Newsom was reported Friday trying to stay off the list of Biden replacements on the 2024 ticket. He knows he needs to spend four years cleaning up California before he can run for president. The homeless situation is so awful in San Francisco that Uber picks you up in a shopping cart.

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