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• The Hollywood Reporter reports all three cable news channels broke into regular programming Sunday to reveal that President Biden was withdrawing from the 2024 race. Shortly afterwards, Joe endorsed Kamala. It's like the WalMart greeter has been relieved and replaced by a crazy bag lady.
•President Biden stunned the political world by suddenly changing his mind and deciding to drop out of the 2024 presidential race Sunday to the relief of much of his party. It was a very gracious and well-crafted message. He felt after 52 years it was time to step aside and allow someone else to be senator.
• President Biden changed his mind Sunday and issued a statement announcing he's withdrawing from the 2024 race and throwing all his support to Kamala Harris. Reaction overseas was skeptical. Vladimir Putin stated that a woman could never become president of Russia because he is not a woman.
• President Biden threw his support behind Kamala Harris Sunday after he didn't mention her in his first statement saying he's withdrawing. She'd be the first female person of color to serve as president. So when Biden identified himself as black woman last week he was trying to hang on to the job.
• President Biden had declared he was staying in the race Friday as pressure mounted on him to withdraw. Subterfuge pitting the Obamas against the Clintons over Kamala threatens to shatter the Democratic Party. Republicans grimly agree it'll be harder than it even normally is to blow this election.
• The San Diego Coast Guard halted a boat and seized thirty-three thousand pounds of cocaine on Friday before the smugglers could dump it in the ocean. Just last week sharks off the Florida coast were seen feasting on dumped bails of cocaine. It gave me an idea for a new Disney movie, Finding Kilo.
• The New York Times reported a nationwide computer crash occurred Thursday. It was caused by a routine update of a cyber security company causing cascading chaos affecting air travel, banking and police activity. I was shocked. Until Friday, I had no idea that Boeing made cyber-security software.
• Crowd Strike is recovering market losses after an update on its cloud software triggered a global tech outage on Thursday. It disrupted Microsoft functions causing chaos in air travel, in banking and in hospitals. After what happened to Trump, haven't Americans had enough Crowd Strike already?
• The House Oversight Committee grilled Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle Monday. The Republicans want to know why her agents missed seeing the sniper who shot off the tip of Trump's right ear. New York lowered all flags to 1/4 staff to celebrate that Trump was almost killed.
• House Republicans demanded to know why the sniper went unnoticed by Secret Service agents when alarmed locals saw him on the roof. A congressman might ask why agents were not on the roof. While a comedian would say there's no reason to have the CIA and the Secret Service on the same roof.
• The GOP Convention in Milwaukee ended Thursday with a lengthy acceptance speech by Trump that nearly lasted until Friday. Delegates sat through a 93-minute speech, two-thirds of it ad-libbed. Someone needs to teach Trump that there's a fine line between a political speech and a hostage situation.
• Donald Trump gave a great speech to the GOP Convention Thursday laying out his plans to unite America. At the end, thousands of red, white and blue balloons dropped from the ceiling onto the stage. One of the balloons loudly popped and Trump immediately went up another ten points in the polls.
• Donald Trump accepted the GOP nomination for U.S. president Thursday in a speech in which he called for national unity. The Left fears that GOP scientists will be able to take the shot-off piece of Trump's ear and clone him. Democrats could have to face Trump every four years till the end of time.
• The White House drew fire over Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle's hapless supervision over the security detail tasked to protect Trump. There's widespread suspicion she didn't go all out to protect Trump. When she heard that Biden caught Covid, she said there's another shot that didn't work.
• President Biden was sidelined by his doctor Wednesday who reported that Joe's come down with Coronavirus which could take him off the campaign trail a while. Even a virus can be spun into political advantage. Democrats were quick to point out that even Covid chose Biden over Donald Trump
• President Biden flew back home to Delaware to self-isolate after he tested positive for the coronavirus while on a campaign swing in Nevada where he'd spoken to the NAACP convention in Las Vegas. Catching Covid is like making a movie with Alec Baldwin. You have a 98.7% chance of surviving.
• President Biden was flown back to Delaware from Las Vegas Wednesday after being diagnosed with Covid and put on a regimen of anti-viral drug cocktails. The virus brings one upside to the American people. Think of all the little girls that are safe tonight now that Joe has lost his sense of smell.
• Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Leader Hakeem Jeffries joined the Dump Joe from the Ticket parade Wednesday in the wake of Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi's comments. No one's faulting Biden for lack of effort. Even the Secret Service Director is telling Joe we gave it our best shot.
• The DNC canceled a preconvention nomination vote for Joe Biden Tuesday as Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi plotted to try to get Joe off the ticket, even though he's the nominee with all the primary votes. I see their thinking. If the Democrats don't destroy democracy before Trump does, they could lose.
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