Contact The Editor
Articles By This Author
• Donald Trump spoke to a campaign rally in Florida Tuesday and challenged Biden to a round of golf, offering 10 strokes a side, with the loser paying $1 million to the winner's favorite charity. The White House wisely turned him down. Biden should not participate in any sport that counts strokes.
• Variety reports George Clooney will star in a comedy movie called Wolfs in September. He's very busy. Clooney just finished shooting a new Ocean's Eleven in which he cons Hollywood out of $30 million for a presidential candidate whom he drives out of the race 3 weeks later by revealing he's senile.
• Barack Obama didn't deny being in league with George Clooney trying to overthrow Joe Biden Thursday. Today when Barack gives a speech he still has to stand behind bulletproof glass, which shows you just how racist America is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.
• Politico reports George Clooney's meddling in Biden's candidacy started a civil war between DC Democrats and Hollywood Democrats. They're joined at the hip. To commemorate the 35th anniversary of the 1989 opening weekend of Weekend at Bernie's, Joe Biden held a press conference Thursday.
• CNN's Anderson Cooper reported Thursday that Nancy Pelosi held secret talks with Barack Obama about ousting Biden. It's taken four years but I finally understand why Joe kept two attack German Shepherds at the White House. It never occurred to me till now they were acting in self defense.
• President Biden produced one hilarious moment at the NATO summit with Ukraine's President Zelensky as they praised each other onstage. Biden stood onstage and looked over and addressed Zelensky as Putin. Last week Joe Biden really screwed up and told a fundraiser Hitler is another Trump.
• President Biden rejected calls by party members and celebrities to drop out of the 2024 race this week. Joe has begun using an orange tanning spray on his face to look healthier while standing at the podium. Yesterday his face turned blue when he forgot to look down at the card that read Breathe.
• The New York Post says President Biden is heavily relying on Jill Biden who is reportedly hell bent on staying in the White House four more years, enjoying First Lady perks and celebrity status. Oddly enough she's been helped by Porn Hub. No one's done more to dispel the wicked stepmother myth.
• Senator John Fetterman told Fox News he's standing by Joe Biden no matter what Hollywood elites like George Clooney or Barack Obama say behind Joe's back. He says he's loyal to Joe for helping him get elected to the Senate. Loyalty in politics spoils the vibe like a straight actor on Bravo.
• President Biden held a career make-or-break press conference at the Washington Convention Center Thursday. If he failed, Kamala Harris was waiting in the wings. When Kamala ran for president in 2019, she quit before the first primary because she was polling nationwide at 2%, tied with Skim Milk.
• Politico cited presidential race polls Thursday showing that Trump and Biden are the two most unpopular men in politics. I will vouch for that. Donald Trump is so unpopular in Hollywood that young actors named Donald are changing their names to Adolf for a better chance at landing an agent.
• Alec Baldwin' manslaughter trial began in New Mexico with prosecutors saying Alec broke the rules of gun safety. In the preliminary hearing, an expert testified the gun went off because there was a loose nut behind the trigger. I still can't tell if this was a defense witness or a prosecution witness.
• The Surgeon General reported that vaping is the number-one use of tobacco by teenagers and warned young people that no intake of tobacco is safe including e-cigarettes. Vaping is weird. You walk past a bunch of dudes on the street who look like gangsters, but they smell like strawberry muffins.
• The Daily Mail reports in Iran a parked Boeing airliner's jet engine sucked an airline mechanic into the engine and killed him during a test. Last week on the runway in L.A. the pilot didn't like dangerous noise the Boeing engine was making before takeoff. It took them an hour to find a new pilot.
• President Biden closed the conference of NATO leaders in Washington Thursday with a highly anticipated press conference watched closely for senility. Everyone was hoping he'd be lucid at the lectern onstage. Joe needed a note card to remind him that NATO was not the Green Hornet's sidekick.
• The Republican National Committee and the Democratic National Committee sent out campaign education packets to focus voters on the names of the party candidates on the ballots. I remember on the last Election Day in 2020 I got confused by all the yard signs. I think I wound up voting for a realtor.
• President Biden will give a full one-hour interview to NBC anchor Lester Holt in Austin on the first night of the GOP Convention. Holt will interview Joe at the LBJ Library. Picture Joe being interviewed while sitting in front of a wall video of Johnson dropping out of the presidential race in 1968
• Democratic Party activists went on CNN to propose a Speed Dating Primary and pit Democratic candidates against each other for a month to find a nominee. The process is humiliating and reeks of neediness. Speed dating is a great way to realize that dying alone isn't the worst thing that could happen.
• George Clooney turned on President Biden Wednesday and publicly urged Joe to exit the 2024 Democratic presidential race. Clooney said Joe can't win in November but Joe simply refuses to go. White House visitor logs reveal that the Grim Reaper has visited the Oval Office 9 times in the past year.
(COMMENT, BELOW)