Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Elon Musk annoyed Twitter users Monday when he re-branded Twitter and replaced the winged logo with a simple X. I remember X was the bad guy's signature on Bonanza. To further infuriate Progressives, for his next big announcement Elon Musk is going to re-brand Tesla and call it the Tucker.

• The Wall Street Journal reports the Walt Disney Company has lost nine hundred million dollars due to the failure of eight of the studio's last nine movies. The studio accountants are at their wits' end. If Disney loses any more money, they're going to have to sell Mickey and Minnie to a research lab.

• The U.S. Senate met with the CEOs of six Artificial Intelligence companies Tuesday to figure out how to responsibly control AI. Imagining what the machines could do to pop culture is truly terrifying. Any day now AI will create a video of Oppenheimer dressed as Barbie singing Try That in a Small Town.

• Daily Variety reports Barbie made one hundred fifty million dollars in its opening weekend for Warner Brothers. The movie Barbie out-earned the opening weekend box office totals for Batman, Spider Man, Tom Cruise and the Guardians of the Galaxy. Personally I didn't think Ken had the balls to pull this off.

• Dan Tana's restaurant in West Hollywood is celebrating its sixtieth anniversary today as the top watering hole and hangout for players in show business. When I first moved to town in 1976, I wound up at Dan Tana's and I asked the bartender who was the Hollywood town drunk. He said we take turns. Hillary Clinton emerged from her self-imposed silence Tuesday to announce that this summer's brutal heat wave is the fault of Donald Trump and his MAGA Republicans. Critics say Hillary is a criminal, a sore loser and a traitor who hates America. Guess that means she deserves an extra big statue.

• Hunter Biden's attorney prank-called the Delaware court pretending to be the House Oversight Committee attorney who had filed the IRS whistleblower testimony to be considered before the judge ruled on the plea deal. Hunter's lawyer thought he could get away with it. This is your brain on cocaine.

• Jill Biden placed the family's dog Commander on a leash protocol after the German Shepherd attacked and bit ten Secret Service agents in the past four months. The dog will never be sent back home. They need Commander around to take the blame for the urine stains on the Oval Office carpet.

• Speaker Kevin McCarthy addressed reporters Tuesday on the idea of launching an impeachment inquiry into President Biden's alleged involvement in Hunter's access peddling. The Senate can't convict him. Biden doesn't have Geico, he doesn't have Liberty, his job is insured by Mutual of Kamala.

• Donald Trump said in a town hall in Iowa last week he thinks the cocaine in the White House might have belonged to President Biden, eliciting chuckles. Because The Donald never joined the late 1970s party scene, he doesn't know you cannot be Sleepy Joe AND on cocaine. You have to pick one.

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