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• The Screen Actors Guild in Hollywood voted to join the two-month long Writers Guild strike in Hollywood. With the actors joining the writers on strike, the picket lines just got a lot hotter looking. Yesterday Leonardo Di Caprio was picketing in front of Disney Junior and met his next three girlfriends.
• Variety reports Screen Actors Guild voted to join the Writers Guild of America on strike against studios for a greater share of streaming revenue. So now the only ones making money in Hollywood are the lawyers, plastic surgeons, call girls, drug dealers and stand-up comedians. All of us in the trade.
• Fox Business news warned Thursday a prolonged actors' and writers' strike will devastate L.A.'s economy. Stand-up comedians are still working, but we are offering our support to the picket lines. Jay Leno sent over donuts, Drew Carey delivered them Bob's Big Boy burgers and Bill Cosby sent coffee.
• Universal will release Oppenheimer Friday about the creator of the atomic bomb in 1945 and the decision to use it in World War II. The lone survivor of both Hiroshima and Nagasaki blasts lived to be 93, and with only a slightly deaf ear. He didn't really mind because the other three worked just fine.
• Microsoft revealed that Chinese cyber-spies hacked into U.S. government computers and invaded the e-mail accounts in the Commerce Department. Our two cultures don't mix well. Last week on TikTok, fifteen young Americans were hospitalized after attempting to do the YMCA dance in Chinese.
• The Saudi's LIV golf tour and the PGA yielded to Senate anti-trust threats Thursday and agreed to allow the Saudi LIV tour to lure more golfers from the PGA Tour with mega-million bonuses. This is insane. The Saudis could outbid the Dodgers for Shohei Ohtani and make him learn how to play golf.
• FBI Director Chris Wray infuriated House inquisitors Wednesday when he stonewalled evidence of censoring social media and denied the FBI protecting the Bidens while trying to nail Trump at every chance. What on earth has happened to the FBI? J. Edgar Hoover is turning over in his sun dress.
• FBI Director Wray testified before a testy House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. To dilute the FBI's centralized power over citizens and remove it from political influence, House Republicans vowed to move FBI headquarters to Alabama. In fact for the 2024 season, they petitioned to join the SEC.
• The FBI reported to the Secret Service about the cocaine left in the White House Thursday that it couldn't find enough evidence from fingerprints or video to locate the culprit. The DOJ vowed that someone will pay for this. The next day, Trump was indicted for eating pizza from a wood-burning stove.
• The Secret Service announced Thursday that the FBI's investigation into the cocaine left in the White House was unable to pinpoint one suspect. At least they removed the bag of coke from the West Wing door before Biden trips over it. Disney on Ice just added a new act billed as Hunter Skates Again!
• The Secret Service told Congress Thursday that illegal drugs have been found three times in the Biden White House, twice they found pot and once they found cocaine. We can identify the culprits through reverse engineering. Whoever advised Biden to evacuate our military base in Afghanistan is the one on marijuana, and whoever advised Biden to finance a war against Russia, is the one on cocaine.
• The Weather Channel reports blistering heat nationwide and flooding in New England. However as the sun was setting in L.A. yesterday, residents witnessed a huge spectacular pink cloud rising in the western sky. I saw it and just assumed that Barbie and Oppenheimer are on a double bill in Malibu.
• The Hollywood Reporter projects the biggest summer movies this year will be Mission Impossible, Guardians of the Galaxy, the Little Mermaid remake, Flash, Barbie, and Oppenheimer. Everyone will be watching the box office numbers nervously. Oppenheimer is the one movie nobody wants to bomb.
• Universal will release Oppenheimer next week that profiles the nuclear physicist who invented the atomic bomb and supervised the first nuclear detonation in New Mexico in 1945. The film scored great with preview audiences. They loved it because it gives us all hope for a quick end to this economy.
• Gentleman's Quarterly ran an article about Star Land Vocal Band's 1976 hit Afternoon Delight, calling it the dirtiest song ever on AM radio. How decadent was it then? Afternoon Delight is a song about a couple sneaking away for a daytime quickie, and families in the 1970s sang it together in the car.
• Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg posted photos of himself with his fight instructors Tuesday while Elon Musk is vowing to shape up. Zuck and Elon plan to meet in a cage match and fight for all the marbles. The winner is declared the King of All Social Media while the loser has to marry Amber Heard.
• O.J. Simpson told reporters Wednesday if you're born a man or a woman it's unfair to have them competing against each other and said allow men to compete with men, women with women and transgenders with transgenders. O.J.'s always stood for gender equality. He's murdered both men and women.
• The White House was hit by a report on the effects of inflation Wednesday which revealed that Americans are starting to scrimp on toilet paper to save money. Americans are battle-hardened. We figured out during the pandemic that a receipt from CVS is about the same as a roll of toilet paper.
• President Biden returns today from a five-day jaunt to London, a NATO summit in Lithuania and a U.S. Nordic conference in Finland. We're glad he stayed on his feet. Whenever I hear that president Biden is going to take an international trip, I hope he's not walking up the Eiffel Tower when it happens.
• The National Retail Federation reported Monday shoplifting has quadrupled since the pandemic ended. It's a new world. Manson Family member Leslie Van Houten was released after 54 years in prison Wednesday, and she won't believe it when she goes to CVS and she has to unlock her deodorant.
• Manson Family member Leslie Van Houten was released on parole from a California prison this week. The nut harvest is officially underway. I'm not saying Bobby Kennedy's anti-establishment presidential campaign is gathering momentum, but Sirhan Sirhan's chances of parole are skyrocketing.
• Robert F. Kennedy Jr. gave interviews to Bill Maher and Jesse Watters and backed a border wall, ending the war in Ukraine and improving the environment. Bobby wound up sober like I did from the same crazy era. On every $100 bill in the late 1970s, Ben Franklin had a baseball cap on backwards.
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