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Many things human come in pairs. Eyes, ears, hands, feet, and lungs appear in twos. Even a single nose features two nostrils. Similar examples should be easy to ponder.
In this context, America's new, two-track justice system might be perfectly natural: One for the Left — in which they suffer few consequences, if any, for their misdeeds — and one for the Right, in which arrests, trials, and prison sentences are routine.
After the Supreme Court's current term ends, masons should spend this summer re-chiseling the marble above its columns. Out with "Equal Justice Under Law." In with "Bipolar Justice for All!"
Black Lives Matter and ANTIFA thugs on the Left spent the summer of 2020 yanking statues from pedestals, torching police precincts, and otherwise unleashing total mayhem. Then-Senator Kamala Harris promoted a legal-defense fund to free arrestees. Few paid any price for the "fiery but mostly peaceful" George Floyd riots.
The January 6 hoodlums on the Right who shattered windows and smashed doors to breach the U.S. Capitol deserve serious prison time. But other protesters naively entered after Capitol Police waved them in.
"Hey, look. It's open house!" some might have thought.
Many of these accidental tourists are in huge trouble. Arkansas' Daniel Hatcher entered the Capitol, snapped some photos for two minutes, and walked out. The FBI arrested Hatcher in Little Rock last February 13. He now faces federal charges.
Left-wing Deep State functionaries John Brennan, James Clapper, James Comey, Peter Strzok, and Andrew Weismann, advanced the Russia Hoax, which bedeviled the Trump Administration and divided America for three years. Each of these men scored a book contract and a TV deal. Literally.
On the Right, Russiagate ensnared Trump aides Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, George Papadopoulos, General Michael Flynn, and Roger Stone. All were sentenced to prison. Trump pardoned Flynn and Stone. Gates served house arrest. Manafort and Papadopoulos went to the slammer.
The quintessence of these two systems involves 2016's presidential nominees and how they separately tried to influence that election.
On the Left, Hillary Clinton's campaign paid $175,000 to Democrat law firm Perkins Coie, which engaged opposition-research shop Fusion GPS. It hired former British spy Christopher Steele. He wrote a baseless "Dirty Dossier" that hallucinated ties between Trump and the Kremlin. Team Clinton leaked this fraudulent report, which Buzzfeed published. And the Russia Hoax was off to the races.
On the Right, Trump was accused of reimbursing his former attorney, Michael Cohen, for paying porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 to clam up about an alleged affair with Trump that both of them have denied.
As former Justice Department official John B. Daukas wrote in the American Spectator: "So, Hillary Clinton is found to be liable for mislabeling payments for the Steele Dossier as legal fees and gets an $8,000 civil fine; Trump has been found guilty of mislabeling non-disclosure payments as legal fees and is a convicted felon."
As Yogi Berra might have said: "Only in America."
Clinton went on to write books, deliver lectures, and whine loudly about why she lost to a real-estate magnate and TV personality on his first political campaign. Notwithstanding emotional scars, Hillary is out a whopping eight grand.
Trump, meanwhile, endured a six-week trial that kept him off the campaign trail for four days each week, cost him undisclosed millions in — to coin a phrase — legal expenses, and added abundant stress to his already high-pressure life. He awaits sentencing on July 11 and could receive four years for each of the 34 counts on which he was convicted. Total: 136 years in the big house.
But is this really so wrong?
If good things come in pairs, perhaps this applies to justice.
Rather than complain about two paths to justice, one Left and one Right, maybe conservatives should celebrate this development. After all, the truth about pecs also might apply to justice systems: "One is not enough, and three are too many."