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• The Long Island Police admitted they were laying in wait parked outside a popular hotel bar in Sag Harbor in order to pick off Justin Timberlake for DUI. The media is now attacking the police who arrested Justin. I guess racism's so bad the cops are now pulling over guys who think they are black.
• The PGA Tour Travelers was marred by climate Nazis who stormed the final hole and sprayed powder on the green. They won't feel validated until Tiger Woods crashes an EV. The protestors achieved a minor victory for clean energy when police tasers zapped them with 50,000 volts of electricity.
• Atlanta's highest paid judge Christina Peterson was arrested last week for punching an Atlanta cop in the head as she exited a bar. She was drunk on Gray Goose vodka, which is also DA Fani Willis's favorite vodka. When drinkers get drunk on Gray Goose, they go out of the bar in a V-formation.
• Southwest passengers suffered a terrifying drop just before landing in OKC last week. I recall when a flight attendant told us if we needed to make an emergency landing on the ocean, to place our heads between our legs. I heard that and thought if I could do that, I wouldn't be going to Thailand.
• Donald Trump campaigned in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Georgia last weekend as Biden debate-prepped at Camp David . The media corrected Trump for telling one crowd that Joan Rivers voted for him in 2016. Unfortunately she'd been dead two years, so she obviously voted Democrat.
• Donald Trump spoke to black voters in Philadelphia Saturday promising to halt the bloodshed in the city streets. Philly has made great strides toward Brotherly Love in my lifetime. When I was in my 30s, the city put up a statue of Rocky Balboa at city hall for beating up two black guys and a communist.
• Donald Trump and Joe Biden will square off in their first debate Thursday night to be held in CNN's studios in Atlanta. They will alternate speaking and must remain standing for ninety minutes. President Biden won the pre-debate coin flip, but confusion reigned when he elected to receive.
• President Biden holed up at Camp David all weekend preparing for Thursday night's debate on CNN with Trump with the bar set pretty low for him. The question on many people's minds is, can President Biden stay on his feet for 90 minutes without suffering any embarrassing accidents? Depends.
• The Hill interviewed CNN political analyst Van Jones Friday who said if Joe Biden has a bad debate against Trump Thursday he'll be removed from the Democratic ticket. It could be worse. There's talk of making Hillary vice president, but Joe, like most of us, prefers to die a natural death.
• CNN confirmed Friday that Bobby Kennedy didn't meet the 15% polling support requirement to make it in CNN's debate. With his family history of assassinations you'd think the White House would relent and give Bobby Secret Service protection. Pfizer already took a shot at him and they missed.
• The Southern Baptist Convention gaveled to a close after the largest Protestant denomination in the U.S. dealt with challenges to church rules going back centuries. Southern Baptists voted to allow women to be ministers, which could confound Satan. He has never had to deal with the Silent Treatment.
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