Contact The Editor
Articles By This Author
• The Hollywood Reporter says the motion picture bio-picture Reagan starring Dennis Quaid is set for release in theaters Labor Day weekend. It could give a big boost to Republicans in the election. However the Democrats have countered and plan to release a movie called Trump starring Randy Quaid.
• NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell went on ESPN and floated the idea of an 18-game season and playing the Super Bowl on President's Day Weekend in February. The latter idea was applauded instantly. However most Americans this year favor postponing the Super Bowl until after the Civil War.
• The Buffalo Bills announced support for a National Gay Flag Football League believing the fan interest is there to make it successful and entertaining. Buffalo residents would turn out 80,000 fans just to enjoy watching gay guys playing a flag game. Buffalo is a drinking town with a football problem.
• A Walt Disney executive admitted in an undercover video Friday that the company discriminates against white males in its new hiring policies. I'll have to pitch my Comedy Store talk show elsewhere. I'm so white that I can't even walk down the street without tiny little alligators jumping up onto my shirt.
• Louisiana Governor Greg Landry signed a law which requires the 10 Commandments posted in every classroom. Hillary Clinton said she's not exactly opposed to the idea but she's not married to it. The 10 Commandments must be posted in every classroom, right next to the Scientology fee schedule.
• The California Supreme Court axed voters' right to petition for new laws Thursday by ruling out an initiative to make it harder to raise taxes. The GOP authors of the petition have only themselves to blame for its failure. It didn't say that higher taxes cause climate change and perpetuate systemic racism.
• The National Weather Service reported that dozens of high temperature records were broken by the heat wave that descended on the Eastern Seaboard this week. It raises hopes for Democrats. It is so hot back east that President Biden could unfreeze for 90 minutes and have a great debate Thursday
• President Biden is spending all week at Camp David preparing for Thursday night's debate with Trump on CNN. No other candidates were allowed. It seems weird to me that two big issues this year involve a blonde sex symbol and a bridge falling into the water and there's not a Kennedy in the debate.
• The White House pushed back hard on news videos that show President Biden appearing senile and unintelligible onstage. Last week the Biden Administration produced proof that the videos are a GOP disinformation campaign. It's a letter signed by fifty-one members of the mainstream media.
• Karl Rove reviewed Trump vice presidential candidates Thursday and gave their strengths and weaknesses. There are three criteria. To be Trump's VP he or she must be 35, a U.S. citizen and, in case Trump dies in office, be able to step in and serve as the voodoo doll on ABC's Women of The View.
• TMZ reports that Justin Timberlake admitted five years ago he had an alcohol problem. The last time I drove my car after drinking was in October of 1986 in Beverly Hills. I swerved into a ditch to avoid hitting a pine tree, but it just turned out to be the air freshener hanging from my rear view mirror.
• The White House slammed the media Tuesday for airing video that made the president look lost or confused onstage at his entertainment industry fundraiser last Saturday. They wanted the media to spotlight the honor Joe received in Hollywood. Disney just named him technical advisor on Frozen 3.
• Politico reports all federal offices were closed on Wednesday in honor of Juneteenth. Our black fellow citizens celebrate on Juneteenth, MLK's Birthday and all of February. But the struggle continues as long as Caitlyn Clark keeps getting up off the floor after a hard foul and sinking another 3.
• Fox News reported border patrol statistics saying 70,000 Chinese have crossed the Mexican border into the U.S. this year. Imagine all the things we can teach one another. If I've learned one thing from years of dating beautiful Asian girlfriends and loaning them my car, it's how to re-fold an air bag.
• Justin Timberlake was charged with driving while intoxicated, running a stop sign and weaving between lanes Monday night at Sag Harbor. He was booked, finger-printed and photographed at the police station. To show you how drunk Justin was, he used his one phone call to call Britney Spears.
• New England Patriots former coach Bill Belichick was shown on a doorbell video sneaking out of his 24-year-old girlfriend's house topless last November. A 72-year-old man can't be walking around outside topless in November after taking Cialis. If he dies they'll never be able to close the coffin.
• Tropical Storm Alberto slammed into the gulf coast of Texas Wednesday kicking off what the NWS predicts to be a busy hurricane season. President Biden hates being televised inspecting the damage done by hurricanes and tornadoes to America's cities. The cadaver dogs won't leave him alone.
• The White House launched a Deep Fakes Task Force to pressure social media to erase video clips that make Biden look feeble. Who could believe such obvious evidence? The Biden campaign produced a letter signed by 51 intelligence officials saying it has all the earmarks of Russian collusion.
• Donald Trump told Wisconsin if President Biden is alert and sharp during next week's debate it'll be because he did a pile of cocaine just beforehand. Somebody get a screenwriter on this right away. Donald the Outlaw and Joe Blow is the best movie title since Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
• ABC's Women of the View star Joy Behar expressed fear that if Trump is elected, he will cancel their TV shows and send her off to a camp. He'd never fire a publicist who works for him for free. I think it's a sign of our times that the three angriest women in America are named Whoopi. Sunny and Joy.
• CNN issued its rules for the debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump next week. There will be no studio audience, both men must remain standing, and no notes are allowed. In addition, CNN moderators Dana Bash and Jake Tapper may zap Trump with a cattle prod if he over-pronounces China.
• Donald Trump lost his appeal in the New York Supreme Court to lift his gag order in his hush money trial so he can rip the judge and DA. The ruling forces Trump to talk about the issues the voters care about instead. New York's legal system is going to elect Trump president if it's the last thing they do.
• CBS News reports New York, Chicago and Los Angeles are facing an unprecedented exodus of residents to Red States due to rampant crime, high taxes and regulations. I say it's all bad. The really cool thing about living in a big, Democratic-run city is that everything is free if you can run fast enough.
(COMMENT, BELOW)