Tuesday

September 17th, 2024

Insight

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published June 17, 2024

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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President Biden at the G-7 repeated his vow to help Ukraine defeat Russia and usher Ukraine into NATO. If you thought Social Security was a bad deal for the next two generations, just wait until a president ignites a nuclear war on his deathbed. The good news is, your student loans will be forgiven.

President Biden at the G-7 Thursday announced sanctions against banks that do business with Russia. Since Joe's sanctions against Russia began, McDonald's, Coca-Cola, Pizza Hut, and KFC have shut down there. Due to Biden's sanctions, the Russian people are the healthiest they've ever been.

The Postal Service slapped a 5-cent hike in the price of a U.S. postage stamp to 73 cents starting in July. More humanely, on this day in 1920, the U.S. Postal Service banned sending children by parcel post. Incidentally, the last kid to be mailed is now 105 years old, and was just delivered last Friday.

Canada's government circulated a think-tank paper suggesting what Canada should do should the U.S. erupt in civil war this fall. I completely understand their concerns. Living in Canada is like living in a big, beautiful apartment with a spectacular view, located directly over a crack house that's on fire.

The World Health Organization warns that a Bird Flu epidemic will be threatening the poultry industry. Yesterday, an animal rights activist burst into KFC and shouted at me that the chicken I was eating had a family. I told her that's why I ordered the Family Bucket, so they'll never be separated.

Joey Chestnut was banned from the Nathan's National Hot Dog Eating Contest on Tuesday for endorsing an off-brand vegan hot dog. He can eat eighty hot dogs in ten minutes. There's little else Joey can do with his life skills except transition to a woman and run for Miss Alabama or join The View.

CBS News in Los Angeles showed dramatic video Monday of a flash mob looting an Auto Zone store in South Central L.A., stealing everything inside. The mob was armed and their faces covered up. Auto Zone announced they will re-locate its South Central Los Angeles store to a safer location, in Gaza.

Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman was in a car wreck Sunday which landed him and his wife in the hospital. His conservative comments have irked his fellow Democrats lately. They're hoping he hit his head on the windshield hard enough to re-join the party and vote the Progressive line.

NBC News reported ICE agents tracked down, apprehended and deported eight illegal aliens from Tajikistan who were connected with ISIS. They had no trouble slipping undetected across the border. A terrorist act could have held down the 2024 election voter turnout and that's the Bird Flu's job.

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