Monday

September 16th, 2024

Insight

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published June 11, 2024

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

President Biden spoke in Normandy and likened the need to crush Nazism in 1944 to the need to crush what he deems the hateful ideology of today. CNN found one D-Day veteran who said he fought hard on D-Day and he’s happy with the job President Biden’s doing. Mind you he was in the SS.

Jill Biden flew back to Delaware from France Friday for one day to attend Hunter’s trial then flew back to Paris the next day for the French state dinner. Flying back and forth on government jets cost the taxpayers $3 million. Look, we’re either honoring the country of Marie Antoinette or we’re not.

President Biden spun another classic story for his hosts during his speech at the French state dinner in Paris Saturday night. Joe leaned forward and told the French that his ancestor came over to the Colonies with Lafayette during the Revolutionary War. I looked it up and he was eaten by Loyalists.

Hunter Biden’s trial resumed Monday after the defense rested Friday with Hunter’s attorney mulling whether to call Hunter to the stand. It seems up in the air. I don’t know if Hunter will be found innocent or guilty, but I can guess who won’t be getting a new laptop for Father’s Day this year.

The U.S. Olympic teams selected for the Summer Games in Paris were announced and Caitlin Clark was left off the U.S. Women’s Olympic Basketball team. Heaven forbid the team draw TV viewers. Only Alcoholics Anonymous keeps the names of its members a more tightly held secret than the WNBA.

Donald Trump raised millions of dollars at a Beverly Hills fundraiser at a home just off Sunset Boulevard Friday. Trump carried this hugely wealthy precinct of Beverly Hills in 2020 and he loves addressing crowds in this neighborhood. It gives Trump a chance to speak directly to the Iranian people.

Donald Trump’s conviction in New York ten days ago was followed by post-election delays in his Georgia and Florida cases, with another case pending. I apologize for having to ask but I don’t have my desk calendar in front of me. Exactly when is Trump’s mattress tag removal trial set to begin?

Boeing’s Starliner spacecraft finally blasted off after false starts and technical glitches delayed launchings and it headed to the Space Station. Boeing’s had a terrible year with malfunctioning planes and emergency exit doors breaking off in mid-flight. Poland just hired Boeing to build their submarines.

The Alabama Miss Pageant made news over the weekend by selecting a three hundred pound plus-sized model and podcast host to be crowned Alabama Miss of 2024. Talk about inflation. It’s caused the Alabama Miss pageant and the National Hot Dog Eating Contest to combine shows this year.

The Southern Baptist Convention is meeting to vote on whether to ban women clergy. They’d make great preachers. While I was in college, several Southern Baptist girls told me to go straight to Hell, and they said it more directly and more forcefully than Billy Graham on his best day in the pulpit.

Hunter Biden’s felony drug-and-gun trial went to the jury in Delaware Monday with a verdict likely Tuesday. The courtroom pressure on the jury was intense during final arguments. A dozen of the extended Biden family sat on the front row in court including Vito, Sonny, Michael and Fredo Biden.

The World Health Organization issued a warning Friday of the imminent threat of a Bird Flu pandemic that could sweep the planet after a laboratory confirmed a case of human Bird Flu infection. The administration responded promptly. President Biden just ordered the bombing of the Canary Islands.

Andrew Jackson’s statue in Washington was defaced by pro-Hamas protestors Friday. Jackson routed the Five Civilized Tribes in Georgia and Florida for siding with the British in 1776 and 1812 and force-marched them to Oklahoma. It’s the only war in U.S. history in which the loser got the oil land.

(COMMENT, BELOW)

Columnists

Toons