Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Willie Nelson's 90th Birthday Celebration aired on CBS honoring the legendary musician with a star studded lineup of performers recorded before a sold-out audience at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles. Two things are inarguable. Willie Nelson is a great singer and a devastating wrestling hold.

• The Daily Mail said the giant Seychelles tortoise Jonathan turned 200 years old in St. Helena Sunday and spent the day sunbathing, eating and mating. It reinvigorates my hope for America's immediate future. Compared to Jonathan, Joe Biden and Donald Trump are in the prime of their lives.

• Fox CEO Rupert Murdoch got married at the age of 93 Sunday to a much younger Russian woman in his backyard vineyard in Bel Air. It was an open casket wedding. If you would like to send them a wedding gift , the couple are registered at Death Bed, Walk-In Bath and the Great Beyond.

• Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were reported Friday near divorce. Affleck was once a guest on PBS's celebrity ancestry show and he ordered the show to edit out that he descended from slave owners. What angers the people who know Ben is the way he always walks around acting like he owns everybody.

• The American Community Survey calculated census bureau statistics to report that America's minorities will be the majority by 2050. Businesses clearly see it coming. To expand its customer base across the South, Cracker Barrel is rebranding its restaurants Hispanic, Black and Cracker Barrel.

• Stormy Daniels spoke to the London Mirror Sunday and urged New York to jail Trump, and urged Melania to leave Trump, and she accused Trump's lawyers of trying to slut-shame her. She never lets up. To me Stormy serves as a life lesson for Tiger Woods to be grateful, it could have been worse.

• Politico reports that the Democrats are fearful that Joe Biden can't make it through a grueling campaign season and Republicans are worried Donald Trump will wind up in jail. Suppose we call off the election and go four years without a president. We need some time to be single and find ourselves.

• Donald Trump received a wild cheering ovation from a UFC crowd in New Jersey on Saturday two days after his conviction. I've seen this movie before. This is the part of the 1958 science fiction movie when the scientists realize that high voltage wires and atom bombs only make the monster bigger.

• The New York Post reports that Donald Trump's presidential campaign received a huge boost in money following Trump's verdict Thursday. In the seventy-two hours after he was found guilty Donald Trump received $53 million in donations. Joe Biden just admitted the White House blow was his.

• President Biden and Kamala Harris welcome the Super Bowl winners Kansas City Chiefs at the White House Friday for a victory celebration. A truce in the culture wars has failed to hold. Everything was going smoothly until Harrison Butker asked the vice president to make him a sandwich.

• The Pentagon green-lighted the use of U.S. rockets that we send to Ukraine to be used for strikes inside Russia adjoining the eastern Kharkov war zone. There's no reason to fear escalation. President Biden assured the nation that any American killed in World War III will have his student loans forgiven.

• A California lawmaker proposed requiring grocery stores to have two employees overseeing each self-checkout stand to reduce shoplifting and to save clerk jobs. As things are, I pick out my own food, ring it up and bag it myself. If I don't go to the grocery store for a week, I file for unemployment.

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