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• CBS News reports Bud Light just unveiled a new commercial that further distances itself from its disastrous partnership with transgender Tik Tok star Dylan Mulvaney. It was a catastrophic screw-up. Anheuser-Busch stock has sunk so low billionaires are now signing up to take a submarine tour of it.
• The Los Angeles Dodgers held a ceremony Friday to honor Steve Garvey, Ron Cey, Davey Lopes and Bill Russell. They played infield together for the longest lasting time in Major League Baseball history. The quartet played together for nine years from 1973 until 1982, when Yoko Ono broke them up.
• Willie Nelson arrives in Arkansas this week for the Willie Nelson Family Outlaw Music Festival in Rogers where they'll be performing at the WalMart Arena. This is one performer who knows his crowd. Willie's most requested song this year is Mama Don't Let Your Cowboys Grow Up to be Cowgirls.
• President Biden hosted a state dinner for India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi last Thursday at the White House after a day of India-U.S. bilateral talks. The prime minister was very anxious to sit down and talk to the president. He's been trying to contact Joe about his car's extended warranty.
• Russia's mercenary commander Yevgeny Prigozhin agreed to go in exile in neighboring Belarus after his rebellion against Putin failed Saturday. He should have an active social life there. I'd bet the general already has got a date with Polonium, and Polonium is not Catyssha and Carleesha's sibling.
• Vladimir Putin faced down an insurrection attempt by the Wagner Group commander Saturday who marched his mercenaries from Ukraine all the way to Moscow. The world news has been buzzing about the Wagner Group but I'm not sure why. They haven't had a hit single since Ride of the Valkyries.
• Vladimir Putin scrambled to negotiate a coup by a Russian mercenary force Saturday. I once met Putin in the receiving line at a White House reception for him in 2001 and the strange part is, I found he has a great sense of humor. At one point, I made him laugh so hard he promised to kill me last.
• Joe Rogan agreed to referee a caged MMA fight between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg at the Las Vegas Octagon. They're locked in a bitter rivalry over who is the king of social media. Well, if this dispute is a matter of personal honor they should settle it like billionaires, at the bottom of the ocean.
• The Titanic last week claimed five more victims who ventured down to disturb the gravesite. The sinking of the Titanic in 1912 was the world's worst ocean liner disaster, unless you were a lobster in the kitchen water tank and then it was the greatest miracle in history. The story is in the Lobster Bible.
• USA Today reports Ocean Gate CEO Stockton Rush was added to the list of inventors killed by their own inventions in last week's underwater implosion. It left a job opening at the company. Last week I considered applying to be CEO at Ocean Gate but I don't think I could handle the pressure.
• The White House got clobbered by two bad polls last week saying seventy percent of the country thinks Joe Biden is too old to be president and the same number thinks the country is headed in the wrong direction. Stop complaining about your life. There are people in California who can't leave.
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