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• Miss Manners etiquette advice column last week applauded any and all public displays of chivalry nowadays. I got schooled Friday. While I was at the DMV over in Hollywood, just as I was losing all faith in society, I saw an elderly lady smile and give her seat to a pregnant man with a beard.
• The Supreme Court is set to rule on Joe Biden's order forgiving student loan debt. High tuition rates, crushing debt and no-career diplomas have created Generation Woke. Lately Turner Classic Movies is being pressured to stop airing the Wizard of Oz because it's offensive to people without brains.
• President Biden was scheduled to host his first 2024 presidential campaign rally in Philadelphia Saturday. The president's rally is sponsored by local unions. Joe is likely to support woke pressure to take down the statue of Rocky in Philadelphia because he beat up three black guys and a communist.
• The US Open Golf Championship's final round was played at the Los Angeles Country Club. It was revealed late that Tiger Woods can't play because of emergency surgery on his foot. Apparently during a practice round Tiger missed a one-foot putt and under Saudi rules one foot must go.
• Donald Trump gave a speech accusing the Justice Department of running a two-tiered system of justice. They indicted Trump for mishandling national secrets Tuesday, but the next day Biden was on TV babbling about our secret plans to build a railroad across the Indian Ocean. Now everyone knows.
• The New York Post reported that the manager of the Harvard Medical School morgue was arrested for selling and shipping body parts of donated cadavers. Yes, it's appalling. But the good news is, it gave the Biden family a great idea on how to make a few more million off the Big Guy, down the road.
• New Yorkers watched transfixed as local news showed video of a knife fight to the death in the middle of a street in Manhattan. The guy who lost the fight and was stabbed to death happened to be wanted for murder in Baltimore. New York streets are so dangerous now even the murderers aren't safe.
• NATO ministers met in Brussels to plot strategy for future NATO member Ukraine. We already had nuclear missiles in Poland, are we that much safer to have ICBMs on Russia's border? It'd be so nice if U.S. foreign policy was more about problem-solving and less about fulfilling ancient prophecies.
• The Wall Street Journal reported that U.S. officials finally admitted that Covid was caused by an accident in China's Wuhan Lab and spread from there. It's a great relief to me. For three years, I've wondered if the pandemic was all my fault because I didn't forward that e-mail to ten other people.
• The University of Oklahoma Women's Softball team won its third straight NCAA title Friday. It only inflamed today's culture wars. The Republicans boasted the team is all biological women but the Democrats point out they are sponsored by Dick's Sporting Goods, making them Chicks with Dick's.
• Donald Trump's possible course of action was analyzed on cable news Tuesday by his opponents, his supporters and Neo-cons who really hate him. The hounds are loosed. Trump may have to rob a liquor store, loot a Target and then terrorize a subway car to avoid being thrown in jail by the Democrats.
• Alabama enacted a law banning transgender females from women's college sports Tuesday. The state already banned transgender females from girls' sports in K-12... Also, to compete in the Miss Alabama pageant you are not allowed to spell your name in the snow in the talent portion of the contest.
• President Biden and Vice President Harris held a Pride Month event on the White House lawn where Trans-gender women flashed their implants on TV. I witnessed a miracle. I swear I don't do mushrooms, but while watching Joe and Kamala speak, I noticed my flat screen was growing boobs.
• Senator Chuck Grassley says a Burisma executive who allegedly paid Joe and Hunter $5 million kept 17 audio recordings of conversations they had. The Biden recordings are stored in Ukraine. I would guess we're about to switch sides in the War in Ukraine and join Russia in the War on Ukraine.
• President Biden made history Tuesday being the only president to have his Justice Department charge his election challenger with 37 crimes. I'd always thought we inherited our legal system from Mother England, but it turns out it's from Pakistan. The good news is, tech support is now a local call.
• Texas Governor Greg Abbott for the first time sent a busload of Central American migrants to Los Angeles to further spread the influx to Democratic cities. They bring along their culture. Last night, L.A. neighborhoods were so quiet, the only time you heard any noise was when Guatemala scored.
• Philadelphia Starbucks manager Shannon Phillips won a $25 million lawsuit against Starbucks for firing her because she's white. She manages 100 stores but when one had a racial incident, she was fired to try to pacify community rage. Starbucks's coffee is so expensive it makes crack cost-effective.
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