Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Fox News aired Donald Trump's speech that he gave in his defense at his Bedminster Country Club after flying up from Florida Tuesday. Summer is no time to stay in Miami. If only we lived in a world where mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood, everybody over thirty-five would live in Florida.

• Colorado Super Max officials reports Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, in federal prison since 1996, died of natural causes at age eighty-one. The FBI says Ted was the most destructive domestic terrorist in U.S. history. Invitations to the Unabomber's funeral have been mailed out but nobody wants to open them.

• Charles Barkley thanked his doctor for shaming him into losing sixty pounds. He now needs to fix what was voted the Worst-Looking Swing in All of Golf. At a recent charity tourney, Barkley's caddy quit after the 6th hole to go join the war in Ukraine where he said at least he will have a fighting chance.

• PGA Tour Commissioner Jay Monahan told tour members the new merger with the Saudi Tour will result in a great deal financially for everybody. Tournament regulations are up in the air. The touring pros need to be careful because the Saudis have an entirely different meaning to making the cut.

• Variety noted young people going all out to become famous with outlandish Tik-Tok stunts and crazy videos on YouTube. The AP reports four children were found alive in the Colombian jungle after their plane crashed six weeks ago. They made it to the next round of CBS Survivor: South America.

• New York Mayor Eric Adams said Thursday migrants may be housed in private residences. It's another reason why New Yorkers are moving out of the Big Apple, moving mostly to Florida, Georgia and South Carolina. They are attracted by the prospects of warmer weather, lower taxes and secession.

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