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• Donald Trump was advised over Twitter by O.J. Simpson to fire his attorneys if they don't advise him to stay completely quiet in public about his case. O.J. added that's the best advice he ever got. This tells you how much trouble Trump is in when the best legal advice he's getting is from O.J. Simpson.
• Forbes reports Las Vegas is having a record year in gambling revenue from the slots, tables and sports books. For all my long-ago rollicking misspent youth, gambling never interested me, but I'll offer this wager. Last week, the Unabomber died, and here's betting that no one wants to unseal his will.
• The Weather Channel aired all the smoke that covered the Eastern Seaboard in the downdraft from Canadian forest fires. However forest mismanagement was NOT blamed by the White House for the choking orange sooty air and blotting out sun. Gas stoves, plastic straws and white supremacy did this.
• The Census Bureau reported that Millennials are finally having kids after lengthy delay. Parents in Beverly Hills are naming their kids after high-end, expensive luxury items like Mercedes, Dior and Chardonnay. On Sunday a young couple at church introduced me to their two toddlers, Gas and Electric.
• NBC News reported the sixtieth anniversary of the 1963 Equal Pay Act that intended to achieve equal pay for women both in hourly pay as well as in salaried positions. However, economists say at the current rate men and women won't achieve pay parity until 2056. By then, neither group will exist.
• Bartender Guide last week reports that demand for Bud Light in the bar business has plummeted drastically due to the boycott over transgender endorsement. However, the backlash has resulted in a lucrative black market. On eBay, a seller is advertising a can of Pre-Gay Bud Light for forty-six dollars.
• Business Week urged college grads to take jobs in a workplace with people where unexpected opportunities can arise just from being on the spot. The other night I was in a jazz club when a waiter accidentally dropped a tray of silverware on the floor. They immediately offered him a job on the drums.
• Donald Trump appears before a Florida federal judge today the first president ever indicted by the administration of his election rival. However he's finally figured out an ingenious way to get the Justice Department to stop investigating him. He is going to name Hunter Biden his 2024 running mate.
• The Justice Department indicted Donald Trump on thirty-seven counts Friday. The Democrats are indicting the former president for obstruction of justice while House Republicans are accusing the current president of bribery. Guatemala's president just called the United States a Banana Republic.
• The London Daily Sun reported news from England that the donkey Bubbles, the oldest donkey in the world, died at sixty-four Saturday in rural Warwick. The late donkey's owner is asking the public for help in the form of donations. He's the only one to lose his ass this year who wasn't in Crypto.
• The Christian Science Monitor eulogized GOP conservative TV pastor Reverend Pat Robertson of Virginia, who died Thursday at the age of ninety-three. His passing was noted in Congress. House Democrats griped that white privileged people think they can die any time they want and get away with it.
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