• Fox News was first to report Trump was indicted Thursday, airing a message he posted on Truth Social. Trump was indicted for knowingly storing federal documents. Meanwhile Joe Biden did the same thing but he's safe from prosecution because no one would ever claim he does anything knowingly.
• The Justice Department indicted Donald Trump Thursday over classified documents which were scooped up in the FBI's raid on Mar-a-Lago last August. It's all great news for The Donald. Twice divorced, twice impeached and now twice indicted, at this rate a second term for Trump is guaranteed.
• Senate Democrats who opposed the PGA merger with the Saudi golf tour were accused Friday of anti-Saudi bias. I have been guilty of it myself. Last week I was invited to a party and the invitation card read Dressed to Kill, and apparently a turban, a beard and a backpack is not what they had in mind.
• The Weather Channel reported that the massive smoke from Canadian forest fires swept into the Eastern Seaboard Wednesday and coated the air in cities from New York to Washington, DC., with soot. It looked eerie. It was so bad in New York City that people were going onto the subway for fresh air.
• New Jersey ex-governor Chris Christie launched his 2024 presidential campaign with a town hall meeting in New Hampshire. He ripped Trump and revealed he refused Trump's offer in 2016 to head Homeland Security. I'd say Chris Christie is a good man to have on your side unless you're on a life raft.
• Food Network magazine reports that restaurants nationwide have begun serving smaller portions of menu items to fight inflation and mandatory employee wage hikes. I ordered a fifty dollar steak at a high-end restaurant last night and I told the waiter to put it on my American Express card. And it fit.
• ABC News says car repair prices have risen twenty-five percent due to a shortage of workers and a car parts shortage that's forcing repair shops to scavenge. This week my car is in the body shop and some body parts are being replaced by those from a different car. Does that make it a trans-fender?
• Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince happily announced the LIV-PGA tour merger he brokered. He'd never been on a golf course until recently. Someone explained to the Crown Prince JUST in time that you do not ride the mechanical ball washer, much less turn the hand crank while you're sitting up there.
• Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince struck a deal with the PGA for his Saudi LIV tour to merge with the PGA Tour, causing much anger in New York. The tour will be co-sponsored by the Saudi Royal Family. To even the score, perhaps Tiger Woods can drive a golf cart into one of their hospitality tents.
• New York declared an emergency air alert Wednesday as the city was covered in a heavy layer of orange smoke that had blown down from Canada. No one's ever seen anything like it. At one point, Snoop Dogg rolled down his window and for the first time in his adult life, the smoke blew INTO the limo.
• The Eastern Seaboard was covered by orange smoke Wednesday that blew down from Canadian brush fires raging in the stately old forests surrounding Quebec. This is the worst possible ad for Canadian tourism. I love to drive up to Canada in the autumn to watch the prime minister change colors.
• Governor Gavin Newsom called Florida Governor DeSantis a small, pathetic man Tuesday. The animosity toward Red States by Blue States is very real in California. At my grocery store the Smart Water has a blue label and they place it on the shelf next to the Dumb Ass Water, which has a red label.
• Bobby Kennedy went to the border to assess the flood of arriving illegals. He elicits so many fond echoes of his dad Bobby and Teddy and Jack. Some men see a woman sitting on a bar stool at two o'clock in the morning on Good Friday and ask themselves why, I see the same thing and say, why not?
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