Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

• Iowa U.S. Senator Jodi Ernst hosted many of the GOP candidates at a huge fundraising banquet on Saturday where they took turns bashing Biden. President Biden is campaigning from the White House as only he can. Biden just promised to name this summer's first hurricane after a woman of color.

• Joe Biden's sexual assault accuser Tara Reade moved to Moscow on Friday for what she claims is her personal safety. It appears now that to become President of the United States, you must be 35 years old, a U.S. citizen and previously accused of sexual assault. Otherwise our enemies won't respect us.

• Santa Monica Boulevard was made into one giant amusement park for Pride Weekend but don't ask about the rides. It's a rainbow world. I once told Match.com I'm looking for a straight, Southern Episcopalian or Methodist single girl in West Hollywood, and they sent me Gone with the Wind on DVD.

• The Wall Street Journal reports that inflation is hitting the beer industry hard as brewers grapple with increased costs for packaging and transportation, forcing a big increase in the price of popular brands. Many men dream of a year's supply of free beer. We just never imagined it would be Bud Light.

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. Just click here.

• The Detroit News recently reported that a class of Michigan kindergarten students accidentally drank tequila that someone had left in a water pitcher on the refreshment table. It didn't take very long to figure out. The kids from Flint were the first to notice that the water didn't have its usual kick.

• The Times of India reported a massive train collision in eastern India last week that killed two hundred and eighty-eight passengers who were riding on the overloaded train. The disaster was one for the record books. It's believed to be the most number of Indians killed since the California gold rush.

• The Hollywood Reporter reported Friday that Al Pacino will soon be a father at age 82 just one week after it was announced Robert De Niro will be a dad at 79. The two miracles provide a publicity bonanza for their studio. Don't miss Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in their new movie, Scent of a Diaper.

• Tropical Storm Arlene hit Florida, bringing out gators, snakes, spiders, panthers and wild boars into towns with the shallow water flooding. Everything in Florida wants to kill you. Florida wildlife is like a live telephone wire on the street reminding us that every zoo's a petting zoo if you're dumb enough.

(COMMENT, BELOW)