Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Mel Brooks' 1974 Blazing Saddles aired on TCM Friday followed by TCM hosts discussing the racist and homophobic slang that was common in 1974. One thing hasn't changed. Black people and white people have a difficult time getting along in Los Angeles because neither one of us speaks Spanish.

• The Federal Aviation Administration reports that a record 3.66 million Americans flew to their destinations over Memorial Day Weekend. Many travelers enjoy the bustling anonymity of a JFK, or an O'Hare or an LAX. The airport is the last place where it's socially acceptable to drink at 9:00 a.m.

• Stephen Colbert hosted his last show Thursday with Robert de Niro and Paul McCartney wishing him a fond farewell. It climaxed an entire month of teary-eyed goodbyes on the show. Colbert's been off the air four days and already he's accepted a new job working for Kimberly-Clark as a Kleenex tester.

• The Secret Service opened fire and brought down a gunman who fired 3 shots at the west side of the White House Saturday afternoon while Trump was in the residence. That's 4 times he's been shot at. Luckily the putting green is on the east side of the White House so the president was never in any danger.

• President Trump declined Iran's peace offer Sunday that lets them control the Strait of Hormuz and keep their enriched uranium. They're idiots. If Iran could only realize how well Germany and Japan are doing after losing a war to the United States, they'd come out with their hands up immediately.

• President Trump settled his lawsuit against the DOJ over the IRS releasing Trump's tax returns during Biden's presidency. It also set up a $1.8 billion defense fund for Biden's DOJ targets, money seen by opponents as a slush fund. Half the $1.8 billion is already gone, claimed by 160 Somali migrants.

• Secretary of State Marco Rubio told reporters Saturday the U.S. has other options if negotiations with Iran's regime break down, amid rumors that a peace deal was very near. Over the weekend, the president spelled out the Trump Doctrine. It gives Iran two hours to surrender, or maybe two weeks.

• Tulsi Gabbard became the 4th female cabinet member to walk the plank Friday while no male cabinet members have been shown the door. I think I get the administration's mind-set. Last fall I visited my college fraternity house at OU and the boys told me their #1 house rule is Bro's before Ho's.

• President Trump said again Saturday that he delayed an attack on Iran because negotiations are very close to a peace deal. I get the distinct feeling that Donald Trump never spanked his five kids. It maintained his high approval ratings with his children by putting their mother in charge of discipline.

• John Thune pulled the ICE funding bill due to GOP opposition to Trump's $1.8 billion victim's compensation fund to pay people arrested in the Capitol Hill riot in 2021. Three protestors made off like bandits. They broke into Pelosi's office, read her insider stock tips and invested heavily in Open AI.

• Donald Trump's DOJ settlement stipulated that the IRS will never again audit Trump's taxes. It reminded me of the two reasons Luther founded Protestantism. Luther was furious over the Pope selling church forgiveness for future sins and tired of having to go to McDonald's every Friday for Filet O Fish.

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