Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• President Trump takes off on Air Force One tonight for a Thursday arrival in Beijing where he will attend meetings with China's President Xi, China's treasury officials and with China's trade board. And why not? Trump's been president for 16 months now, it's abo

• ut time he met with the owners. The San Diego Union reports that Mexico's Tijuana River is dumping 30 million gallons of raw sewage per day into the ocean and it's floating up to West Coast beaches. The ocean runoff is too filthy to politely describe. It's even spawned a new women's fragrance sold in Tijuana called Chanel #2.

• President Trump attended a LIV golf tourney at Trump National Saturday a week after hosting the PGA Cadillac at Trump Doral. CNN ripped him for all the time he spends on pro golf. At one point on Saturday he was running 3 peace proposals behind, and that was between the LIV and the PGA.

• The DOJ cited the NFL for anti-trust for selling games to hyper-wealthy streaming services that charge fans to watch. It's driving up the price of NFL broadcast rights for CBS, NBC ABC and Fox to insane levels. It didn't look good when the league hired a Somali pirate to negotiate with the networks.

• The Pentagon released new videos of UFOs in various shapes and sizes Friday darting through our atmosphere, pretty much confirming they exist. More and more UFOs have been spotted in the skies, day and night, in recent years. Apparently the Earth is the Jerry Springer Show of this galaxy.

• A Frontier airliner taking off from Denver for Los Angeles aborted takeoff when the plane struck and killed a pedestrian who ran onto the runway. Lesson learned. It gave everyone on the plane a fair warning of what'll happen if they try to run across any street when they get to Los Angeles.

• The Dutch liner Hondius 2 arrived in the Canary Islands Sunday where passengers exposed to the Andes Strain of the hanta virus disembarked to be quarantined. We're all over-trained to meet a pandemic. California residents have been practicing home confinement ever since gas hit $7 a gallon.

• Chevron began charging $7.50 a gallon for premium gas in West Hollywood and Beverly Hills Sunday. Their snack prices are just as high. When I was a kid, I could go to the gas station with a quarter in my pocket and come home with a coke and a candy

• bar, but today they've got cameras everywhere. World Cup officials dropped the news Friday that Katy Perry has been selected as entertainment for the World Cup Opening Ceremony at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles. Katy's a loyal Democrat. She has the distinction of being the only female entertainer on both Hillary's i-Pod and Bill's To Do List.

• McDonald's announced they are going to phase out all the self-serve soda dispensers inside the restaurant as most customers don't order from the lobby now. Removing their soda dispensers ends the only magic trick I know how to perform. I can turn water into Diet Coke if the cashier isn't looking.

• High Times reported that cocaine use is skyrocketing back to the late 1970s level due to booming production and lower prices. Back then, we comics knew a coke dealer who disguised himself as a J Witness. The cops finally arrested him when they noticed that everyone was letting him inside.

• The Centers for Disease Control reported Friday that 30% of Americans are not getting enough sleep at night, which they warned increases the risk of heart disease. I recently found an app that's supposed to help you go to sleep called White Noise. It's the gallery at the Masters cheering a great shot.

• Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker opened a new line of attack against President Trump Wednesday, declaring that the president has Alzheimer's. That'd be fun to watch. Alzheimer's is not so much about leaving keys in the refrigerator, it's more about trying to open the front door with a quart of milk.

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