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• Donald Trump's hush money trial will go to the jury in New York this week. Deliberations follow closing arguments and Judge Merchan's jury instructions. I don't want to say this is a kangaroo court but on the final day of the trial, I fully expect the jury foreman to pull the verdict out of his pouch.
• American Prospect reports the drumbeat for President Biden to step aside in 2024 is growing louder among Democrats. Former White House aides are calling attention to his cognitive decline and onstage confusion. Lately I've noticed Joe gets easily frightened by unfamiliar sounds, like applause.
• Fox News released a new presidential poll Friday showing Trump and Biden running dead even nationwide. The experts say it will come down to turnout in November. President Biden paid a visit to Arlington National Cemetery on Monday and laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Voter.
• The White House reported that President Biden spent Memorial Day weekend at his beach home in Delaware with family. On Monday he gave a speech at Arlington National Cemetery which Joe loves to do. Every year it gives Biden the chance to address the one audience he doesn't put to sleep.
• Turner Classic Movies aired inspiring war movies over Memorial Day weekend that starred action heroes like John Wayne, Errol Flynn and Clark Gable. The macho star tradition continues to this day. Chuck Norris has admitted to using stunt doubles in his movies, but only for the crying parts.
• The NTSB reports an all-time high three million Americans took airline flights Memorial Day Friday. It was our patriotic duty. In honor of all the brave U.S. pilots who risked death in the sky fighting for our country, flying on a Boeing airliner gives us a sense that we're all in this battle together.
• Starbucks issued 30% off coupons online to allay slumping sales in the U.S. and China. Last weekend, my Millennial date insisted I go to Starbucks with her, and it was the first time I'd ever been to Starbucks. I'm not sure if the woman in line ahead of me was ordering a drink or casting a spell.
• McDonald's this summer is introducing a new ice cream flavor called the McFlurry that's supposed to remind you of your grandmother. Last week my highly contentious girlfriend refused the gift of a bracelet I offered her that my grandmother used to wear. It's inscribed Do not Resuscitate.
• President Biden hosted a lavish state dinner at the White House on Thursday for the visiting President of Kenya, William Ruto, attended by celebrities and official Washington. Barack Obama dropped by to attend the dinner. He could have gotten a much better seat with a Kenyan birth certificate.
• President Biden threw a lavish state dinner on Thursday for the President of Kenya, William Ruto, with the Clintons and Barack Obama in attendance. There was one embarrassing incident. In separate toasts, Barack was praised as a long lost son by President Biden and the President of Kenya.
• Shenandoah County School Board restored the names of Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee to two schools in Virginia. I wouldn't expect it to spread. In Los Angeles schools, the only time someone is legally allowed to say the South shall rise again and again is during Drag Queen Story Hour.
• Dennis Quaid appeared on Fox News Friday and praised Donald Trump for going into the South Bronx to address thousands in a non-Republican neighborhood. He then endorsed Trump for president. This is bound to cause tensions because his brother Randy Quaid just endorsed Deez Nuts.
• The Daily Mail cited two growing secessionist movements to try to carve out two new Red States, one out of south Oregon and Northern California one out of Eastern Washington and Idaho. The enthusiasm is real. Portland is putting back up a long-gone Civil War statue honoring Fidel Castro.
• Iran ordered Iranians to observe one week of public mourning to honor President Raisi last week. I guess they don't make terrorists like they used to. Experts have calibrated that when Raisi's helicopter crashed into the mountain he missed the One World Trade Center by 5811 miles
• Joe Biden spoke at West Point's graduation and said he turned down a football scholarship at Naval Academy in 1961 in order to play at Delaware. Joe noted he'd have been Roger Staubach's wide receiver at Navy. Staubach wound up with six concussions in the NFL, tying Biden's record at Delaware.
• Hillary Clinton on Sunday blamed her surprise 2016 election loss on women, claiming that women abandoned her because she failed to be perfect. She paid a steep price for trying to be perfect. On Election Night, Donald Trump became the second U.S. president to publicly humiliate Hillary Clinton.
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