Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Swimming World reports trans-gender women may swim in the Olympics if they transitioned before age 12. Last weekend a biological woman swam across the shark-infested San Francisco Bay and told reporters afterwards the sharks showed no interest in her. Even the sharks are gay in that town.

• CNN aired video from a hotel hallway in L.A. showing P Diddy beating, kicking and dragging his girlfriend back into his room. Musicians were not impressed when they saw the beat-down. In typical P. Diddy fashion, all he did was copy the style of more talented artists like Ike Turner and Chris Brown.

• Iran declared a Day of Mourning Tuesday for Iran's President Raisi, known as the Butcher of Teheran, who was killed in a helicopter crash. The bad news is, Iran's president was not greeted in Paradise by 72 virgins after the chopper crash. Good news is he's the newest member of the Rotary Club.

• President Biden gaffed at a Jewish event at the White House Monday saying he enjoyed meeting a former hostage in attendance, but sadly he's actually still being held hostage by Hamas. That's just Joe. I'm ready to brag we have the only president in the world who can sneeze and pee at the same time.

• The Donald Trump hush money trial in New York will go to the jury after closing arguments next week. To serve on the jury, prospective jurors had to answer a 75-page questionnaire. The only one who answered all the questions right was Chiang Ming Loo, who was excused for ruining the curve.

• Attorney General Merrick Garland authorized the FBI to use deadly force when they raided Trump's home in 2022. Haven't Democrats learned anything from prosecuting him? If the FBI shoots Trump, he'll just go up another 10 points in the polls, and if they kill him he's as good as elected.

• Scarlett Johansson sued open AI for using her voice for verbal communication responses. In 2013, Lionsgate optioned a movie script called Rodham about young Hillary Clinton in her 20s with Scarlett Johansson as Hillary. Bill Clinton heard the news and volunteered to play himself in the movie.

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