Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Las Vegas superstar David Copperfield was accused by sixteen women in the Guardian who claim that the magician committed sexual assault, drug rape and underage grooming on them over the last few decades. I don't understand what they think they can do with him. Good luck keeping HIM in jail.

• The FBI released its violent crime statistics last week which ranked all fifty states on incidents of shootings, stabbings and assault, and New Mexico was ranked the most violent state in the U.S. Reaching the top requires a team effort. Chicago complained it's like the rest of Illinois isn't even trying.

• Democrat Congressman Dean Phillips said Thursday the Democrats should cancel the DNC Convention in Chicago in August. He's afraid the protests will turn violent and make the party look bad. I remember in 1968 the Chicago cops arrived at the convention hall early in order to beat the crowd.

• The White House infuriated China by slapping a 100% tariff on cars, batteries, solar cells, aluminum and steel. The Chinese are great strivers and achievers. China's 2015 Nobel Prize-winning scientist Tu Youyou just won the title of The World's Most Difficult Person to Sing Happy Birthday To.

• The Department of Transportation forecast a record five million Americans taking airplane trips on Memorial Day Weekend. The airlines are doing all they can to make flying a happier and more relaxing experience. Boeing-built airliners now offer legroom that extends outside the plane.

• New York City Mayor Eric Adams caused eyes to roll Wednesday when he suggested that the illegal immigrants jammed into the city should be hired to solve Coney Island's lifeguard shortage. He said the men are excellent swimmers. If they have the balls they could medal in the Women's Freestyle.

• President Biden shook up the presidential race Wednesday by posting an announcement he's challenging Trump to a debate in June. There are a few strings of course. Joe conditionally agreed to debate Trump as long as there's no studio audience, no RFK and a group of Visiting Angels on stand-by.

• Senator Foreign Relations Chairman Bob Menendez went on trial Tuesday for receiving 19 gold bars and a Mercedes Benz to do favors for Egypt. That's the very definition of inflation right there. When I was twenty years old, all it cost to buy a politician was four lines of cocaine and a hooker.

• The Shenandoah School Board re-named two schools after Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee. Never discount DNA memory. When I was six years old, my parents took me to the drive-in to see the musical Damn Yankees, and I threw a fit in the back seat when I realized it wasn't a Civil War movie.

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