Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• The White House denied President Biden was shaping foreign policy to improve his political image. It's hard to prove. However on Friday the Pentagon removed all U.S. troops from the African nation of Niger just to keep the name from popping up on Biden's teleprompter during an election year.

• US News and World Report quoted FBI crime statistics Friday which rate New Mexico as the state with the most violent crime rate in the U.S., and the state also ranked second in homicide rate. The reaction was swift. Alec Baldwin just changed his manslaughter plea from Not Guilty to When in Rome.

• The Francis Scott Key Bridge's remaining structure was demolished in Baltimore Saturday, setting the stage for its rebuild. It was accidentally destroyed by a cargo container ship that veered off course and crashed into the bridge. I lost twenty bucks betting that the cargo ship was the SS Boeing.

• Donald Trump bid a Happy Mother's Day to an absent Melania at his rally Saturday. Young men, to be truly happy, find a woman who loves you, a woman you're crazy about, a woman who loves having sex with you, a woman who trusts you. Then make sure that these four women never meet.

• President Biden enlisted George Clooney and Julia Roberts to spearhead a fundraiser in June on social media. Forget movie stars, Joe should recruit comedians after all he's done for us. Just yesterday, Joe vowed that he will defeat Donald Reagan in October, you can take that to the Post Office!

• Governor Kristi Noem canceled her book tour due to outrage caused by her admitting she shot and killed her untrainable puppy twenty years ago. She also falsely claims she met with Kim Jung Un, who used an untrainable dog to eat his uncle. You'd think they could talk shop til the sun comes up.

• Bobby Kennedy Jr. told an interviewer last week that a CT scan back in 2012 revealed a worm was found eating Bobby's brain before it died in there. It's not certain how much damage was done. But it appears Bobby wasn't kidding last year when he said that he has half a mind to run for president.

• The Magna Carta survived attempted vandalism in its secure case at the London Museum on Friday. The case inscription reads the King signed the document in 1215. Museum visitors from America told Sky News they just missed seeing the ceremony by fifteen minutes, having arrived at 12:30.

• Prince Harry and wife Meghan were photographed during their goodwill trip to Nigeria this week. To beat the heat, Meghan visited a remote tribe while wearing a $5,000 Johann Ortiz designer sun dress. So it looks like young Jamal will have to keep walking three miles to get water from the well.

(COMMENT, BELOW)